The Courts
by hearts-at-stake
Summary: The War has ended, so what happens now? This story will focus on my OC and Azriel. Takes place after ACOWAR.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Thank you for clicking!**

**This is my little ramblings of what could have happened after A Court of Wings and Ruin. I had started this before A Court of Frost and Starlight, so nothing that happens in that book happens in this story. It takes place about a year after the war with the first chapter consisting of a flashback of the war, from my main OC's POV. **

**I do not own any of the characters except for Lyra, my OC**

**Thank you for clicking!**

**The Courts Chapter 1**

_War was raging, there was death and the dying all around me as we entered the arena rather late. My father's arrogance wanted us to stay out of this fight until the last moment so he could claim that he fought and not have his pride wounded but he also so he would have the fewest casualties. My father, Beron the High Lord of Autumn, headed the charge, our orange and silver armor gleaming in the afternoon light, Tamlin, High Lord of Spring, to our right, the green and silver armor a stark contrast to ours. My eldest brother, Eris, stood to the left of our father while I was on the right, my long auburn hair tied up and tucked under my helmet fastened to look like leaves. _

_ The horn blew and we raced down the hill, winnowing in and striking, fire blazing, not pausing to greet the stunned other High Lords. Rhysand, the High Lord of Night, was nearing the end of his magic but lucky for him, mine was teeming over. A Hybern soldier tried to get in a lucky shot at the High Lord's back but I blew him away with a canon of fire. Rhysand shot me a short look of gratitude but I was already gone, my Firedancers, all around me, waiting for my father to give the signal that I knew Eris was now giving the other High Lords and their Captains. _

_ I charged through the slaughter, my girls' fire separating the enemy's forces into nice even sections. _

_ The horn blew again. How much time has passed? I don't even remember how many I have already killed. Dozens? Hundreds? _

_ The aerial legions shielded themselves barely miliseconds before I dug deep within myself and simply erupted. The disrupted air hit them first but they stood strong, barely moving meanwhile Hybern's forces were pushed on their asses as they tried to put up shields. _

_ But they had no time. _

_ Fire, red and blue, hit them and they were ash before they even felt pain. _

_ The fighting seemed to stop for all of a second. One long second as everyone stared as smoke and embers left my mouth with my heavy breathing. My father was angry but he knew he had no choice but to utilize me if he wanted to look like he had an impressive army to the other High Lords. _

_ That burst used up most of my magic but I still had some left at my disposal as the fighting began anew. Every court dug deeper into the fighting, some of the High Lords even taking to their animal forms to do the most damage, the Night Lord shifting into a large, human sized bat, and the Day Lord, Helion, his white, winged companion. _

_ My swords were slicing and cutting and blocking as more and more soldiers rallied against us. As I was fighting, I saw one of the Night Court Captains, a beautiful winged man with shadows clinging to him, battle beautifully but there was someone coming up behind him. I grabbed one of my daggers and it lit on fire at my touch. I threw it at the Hybern agent and it hit its mark—slicing deep into the head through the ear canal, burning his head and what brains he had. The commander, killing his opponents, looked up at me, marking my face, and returned the favor as he winnowed and decapitated a soldier I hadn't realized was behind me. _

_ I was breathing hard, we both were, and we had no time for thanks as we simply went back to slaughtering. _

_ I heard a scream and I risked a glance up and saw that a group of my Firedancers was surrounded and one was bleeding. _

_ "Shield." I told the winged man. His dark eyes were serious as he nodded and a wall of blue surrounded him. I reached out my sword and fire so bright and hot burst forth that it turned my enemies into ash on contact. With a sword in each hand, I made my way towards them, gutting and killing wherever they made contact. _

_ No one touches my girls. _

_ When my dancers saw me, covered in mud and blood, they shielded as I sent one more blast of fire to the men who had them surrounded. _

_ "Reform the line!" I yelled over the cloud of ash. _

_ With their swords in their hands, my girls became ablazed and we attacked with renewed frenzy. _

_ The fight was nearly over. There were only a few hundred of Hybern's soldiers left. Their King was dead. _

_ The High Lords were exhausted, their magic depleted. But the few whose magic was not, stood in front of their High Lord and did the fighting for them, our fire, water, ice, air, shadows, and sunlight uniting to defeat this great evil. _

_ And then the fighting was simply over. _

_ My muscles were shaking at the sudden stop. I dropped my swords so that I wouldn't injure anyone with my body's desire to keep going. I saw ghost pale hands lift them up from the mud and put them back into my holsters. The winged man. He was more striking up close. His face was unreadable but I thought I saw something akin to awe in his eyes too as he took me in, blood and all. With shaking hands, I pulled off my helmet, my braid falling down my back, tendrils of red waves stuck to my face. His face remained the same although I thought I felt shock coming from him._

_ "It is always like this." He simply said and I noticed that his scarred hands were slightly shaking too. He had been burned before. And yet he did not cower from my flames. _

_ "I never caught your name."_

_ "Azriel." Immediately, I knew who he was. Azriel. The Shadowsinger. The Illyrian my brother had such feuds with. For good reason, I suppose. My brother has done some terrible things._

_ "Lyra!" Just as I was about to tell this stranger, Azriel, my name, Eris yells it for me. My brother grabs my arm to pull me away, to have me help tend to our wounded but I understood his real intentions. He did not want me to talking to this particular male. _

_ "He saved my life, Eris." I hissed at him, jerking my arm out of his grip. _

_ "A debt he owed. I saw you save his life, sister. You owe him nothing." _

_ "I still have magic left, brother. Do not make me start a new war." His lips raised up over his teeth in warning, his body, like mine, covered in mud and blood. _

_ "Father says you are to go home to mother now." I felt more than saw Azriel take a step back as he realized exactly who I was. It was not common knowledge that Beron, the High Lord of Autumn, had a daughter but it has gotten out to the High Lords over the decades that I existed, especially after Under the Mountain._

_ "Because my usefulness is over? Bullshit. I fought with these people. I will stay until we are done here." I caught a new scent over the reeking aroma of gore and death. "Lucien." I sigh. I hissed a mouthful of flames towards my eldest brother. "You selfish prick." _

_ I slosh through the wet earth and embrace my youngest brother with a thud. "Lyra." He sighed. _

_ "It's been so long, brother." I nearly cried in happiness. I step away to look at his face, bronzed and bloodied with war but alive and beautiful. His red hair, so much like mine, drenched in blood. Our foreheads touched and I gripped his shoulders with utter joy. _

_ "Your fire was incredible." He told me. "You've grown more powerful." I heard the worry in his voice and I understood it was warranted. _

_ "Yes."_

_ "Be careful. Eris will slit your throat without a second thought if he thinks you will become heir." _

_ "I am a Firedancer, so they know I am powerful, but I keep the extent of it hidden."_

_ "You didn't today." He warned. _

_ "I couldn't allow myself to. Besides, father beseeched me to help so I told him I could take out a large chunk if he could warn the High Lords about the signal to shield." _

_ "Be smart, sister." _

_ "Always." _

_ "You know this female, Lucien?" I recognized the sultry tenor of the High Lord of Night and we separated. _

_ "Rhysand, this is my sister, Lyra." I nod at the High Lord and he nods back, his eyes widening as he recognized me._

_ "You saved my life." _

_ "I did." _

_ "I owe you."_

_ I shook my head. "This was war, High Lord, no debt need be called." _

_ "Nevertheless, if you need something from me, do not hesitate to call upon me." _

_ "I will take it into consideration." _

_ "I would have thought that a daughter of Beron would not hesitate to collect on a debt owed from a High Lord, especially from myself." He smirked and it added something mischievous to his already immaculate face. _

_ I raised my chin. "I am not my father." _

_ "Indeed." His strange eyes surveyed my body, resting finally on my own russet brown eyes. "He has kept you a rather well hidden secret, but Eris should watch his back if what I am smelling off of you is correct." I dared not blush under his watchful gaze. _

_ "Eris is powerful in his own right." _

_ "But it was not him that Beron went to to incinerate a quarter of our enemy's armies." _

_ "My father hoped Hybern would not think a woman would be capable of such power." _

_ His smirk widened into a half grin. "Keep telling yourself that." _

_ "My father would rather kill me himself than have a female heir so keep your thoughts to yourself, High Lord." His smile dropped as he nodded. _

_ "Of course." He leaned in close, close enough that I could smell the gore on him, full of rust, copper, and decay. "But it would be nice to finally have a worthy opponent, I am tired of being the most powerful High Lord to ever have existed in Prythian's entire history." _

_ "Humble words." He laughed and a spark of mirth lit up his violet eyes. He was truly a vision. His mate, Feyre Cursebreaker, came to stand beside him and he seemed to light from within at her nearness. "It is an honor to finally meet you, Cursebreaker." _

_ "I do not recognize you from Under the Mountain." _

_ "I was there, Amarantha thought me to be my father's weakness and tended to have me hidden away with the threat of torture or rape hanging over my father's head if he disobeyed her. But I was not my father's weakness." Her face seemed to pale. "Do not worry. My father valued his appearance of caring for his only daughter so he stayed the line. Most of the time. She possessed something every High Lord treasured so they would not cross her. I just happened to be my father's. So no, you would not have seen me." I took her hand. "But I felt it. The moment the curse was lifted and my power came back to me, I incinerated half of the damn mountain myself to get free and to return to my family. Thank you." _

_ There was nothing she had to say. She just simply nodded and gave me a soft, sweet smile that told me everything I needed to know even if I couldn't feel her emotions rolling off of her. Fear. Terror. Sadness. Hard won bittersweet happiness. Grief. I wouldn't expect anything less from a woman who gave her life to save us and awoke something new. _

_ I didn't notice Azriel standing there until I heard my father calling for me and I happened to turn around. The High Lord of Autumn stood on a hill overlooking us and he gestured wildly for me to join him. He didn't wait to see if I followed his command. _

_ "He will not want to see me. Go." Lucien whispered. I touch his face. _

_ "But when will I see you again?" I tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. "You are not with Tamlin any longer, not that he liked me any to begin with, but father never lets me leave the Court." _

_ "I live in the Night Court now." He stated and I concealed any shock I had. _

_ "You are free to visit us whenever you wish, Lyra." Rhysand told me. _

_ "Thank you, High Lord." I looked to my brother. "As soon as I can, I will get out and come see you." _

_ "Tell mother I love her." _

_ "I will." _

_ Another winged man joined the group and looked at me with remembrance. Cassian. The last time I saw him was when he and Azriel flew to our Court's border to pick up an unconscious Morrigan, my brothers would-be-bride, whom I kept warm and safe until they could get there. Beside him, Mor looked at me with something akin to confusion and disdain. _

_ "I am glad to see you are doing well, Morrigan." Her eyes narrowed at me. "I do not have time but just know that I was not there that day you were brought to my brother. He did not harm you nor did he order anyone else to, that was my father's idea. I patched you up as well as I could before they came." I said gesturing to Cassian and Azriel. _

_ "That was you?" She asked. _

_ I gave her a weak smile. "Not all redheads look alike, you know? But yes, that was me." _

_ "LYRA!" My father bellowed, his voice shaking the earth. _

_ "I have to go. I will see you as soon as I can, brother." I took one last long look at his face and then ran up the hill where my father's anger manifested into a swift slap to the face. I felt it bruise on contact and Eris hissed at my father. _

_ "You have your people to tend to and you are busying yourself consorting with the Night Court? Despicable!" _

_ I didn't bother trying to explain myself to him. I just clenched my jaw and went to the first tent of bleeding soldiers I could find, offering them kind smiles, fresh gauze, and a healing touch to their wounds. _

_ By the time the sun had fully set and the stars were gleaming, my magic was completely depleted and I was exhausted. I was just about to call out for my brother, when my legs gave out and I fell to the wet ground. _

_ I remember being picked up by Eris and carried to my personal tent. I don't know how long I slept but when I woke up, it was bright outside and I was coated in dried mud and blood. I was disgusting. I peeled off my armor until I was down to my tunic and pants. I slipped outside having grabbed a bar of soap and tiptoed past the soldiers and my brothers down to a nearby lake. _

_ I hissed in pain as I slowly pulled off my clothes, my entire body bruised and aching, cuts I didn't know I had stinging as I stepped into the water. I grabbed my clothes and began scrubbing at them with the bar of soap rigorously. _

_ "You shouldn't be out here by yourself, sister." Eris shouted as he exited the tree line. I kept my back to him even though he averted his eyes. _

_ "I can defend myself as you know." _

_ "Yes, I know, but everyone has rested now and has regained their magic that was exhausted last night. You never know which other court would see the opportunity to take advantage of an Autumn Lady." _

_ "A wise man would wonder what an Autumn Lady is doing so far from her court unless she was here to fight and would stay away." I throw him my clothes and he catches them onehanded with his other hand over his eyes. They were instantly dried. I grabbed the soap again and lathered up my hair. _

_ "You should winnow home to mother today, so she knows you're safe." He advised. "You know I don't mean anything by it, before you start yelling at me, but the war is over now, there is nothing to do besides tend to the wounded. You've done enough." _

_ "I will go home when father does. Not a moment sooner." I ring out my hair. "Now go hide behind a tree while I get dressed." _

_ He sighed and did as I told him. As I stepped out of the water, I sent a surge of heat through my body, drying my skin and hair. I pulled on my clean clothes and boots before tying up my hair. _

_ He escorted me back to the camp where the moans of the dying were everywhere. I saw Azriel and Rhysand across the way, tending to their own wounded. I ducked into the tent where the crying was the loudest and there was already a man with a sheet covering his body and the man next to him was close to meeting him in the Afterplace. He had been gutted and even the Healers could not stop the poison infecting his body. His pale skin was gleaming with sweat and his bloodshot eyes turned up to meet mine. He reached for my hand and I eagerly gave it to him. _

_ "Sing to me, please, princess. I want to die peacefully and hopefully see my brothers again." _

_ His face was sallow but full of desperation. I stroked his face, my fingertips running over his sharp cheekbones and into the valley of his cheeks as I began to sing. I could tell he wanted to close his eyes and enjoy the music but he knew these were his last moments and he did not want to shut his eyes before he had to. I kept stroking his face, the song of our Court floating in the air, the love for the crisp, cold air, the crunch of the fallen leaves, the grace of the deer, the cunning and color of the fox, the majesty of the wolf, and lastly the transcendence of the sunset and the warmth of the bonfire. _

_ He breathed his last breath as my last note rang out and I kissed his forehead and closed his eyes. I hadn't realized I was crying until I saw a tear fall on his still warm face. I didn't even know his name. I quietly stood as if afraid to wake him and covered him in a bedsheet. _

_ I look to the entryway of the tent and there stood Eris, Rhysand, Azriel, Cassian, a striking female I had never seen before but looked quite similar to Feyre Cursebreaker, and Tarquin, High Lord of Summer. _

_ "You sing beautifully, princess." Tarquin whispered. _

_ "Thank you." My voice cracked with my tears. I step outside and they part to let me leave. "Samhain will be busy this year." I stated to no one in particular. _

_ "Samhain?" The female asked. _

_ "It is our celebration to honor the dead and the haunting of the night. Mabon is our one other celebration where we celebrate the harvest and the lengthening of the night. That is all Autumn has." I glance at Rhysand. "We can't all have shooting stars marking our holidays." _

_ He gave me a sad smile and patted my shoulder. Unfortunately, my father rounded the corner and saw all of them surrounding me and I swore his skin turned red. _

_ "Don't you have your own dead or dying to deal with?" He hissed at Rhysand and Tarquin. My father gripped my arm and pulled me back to him, his shoulders in front of my torso to show some semblance of protection and ownership to these other males. _

_ The Autumn Court soldiers lingering in and outside of nearby tents stared at us, their varying shades of brown and red marking a familiar sight but also a potentially dangerous one if they decided these strangers posed a threat to their High Lord and princess. Though my body was taut by my father's, I raised a hand low at my side to tell them to back down. My father has a hot temper and would spare any amount of life necessary to have the last word. _

_ "We have no quarrel with you, Beron." Rhysand purred. "We just heard your daughter's song and it was so beautiful we couldn't stay away." _

_ I saw a flash of red hair and its familiarity soothed something in me. Eris. He could always calm father down, or at least keep him in check. _

_ "Do not blame the outsiders for being curious about the Autumn Court's best singer, father." Eris said coming up on my side. _

_ My father hissed as he stared down his eldest son. "Gather all those who can winnow. We're going home. Today." _

_ "Of course. Consider it done." _

_ The Autumn Lord released my arm and I rubbed at the bruise starting to form. Eris gripped my chin and turned my head so he could view my bruised cheek. I shut my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the pity on these powerful strangers' faces. _

_ "I'll take you to a healer the moment we return." _

_ "Those soldiers need it more than me." I growled. _

_ "Your people need to see you as unharmed." He snarled. _

_ "My people need to see that I have fought for them." We were glaring at each other now, baring our teeth._

_ "Hybern did not cause this bruise, Lyra." He seethed. _

_ "Do not act concerned about me just because we have an audience, Eris." _

_ "Act?" He questioned. "You think I act concerned?" _

_ "Do not try and pretend that you don't constantly think about slitting my throat while I am sleeping so you do not have competition, brother. I know you do, because I have the same dreams about doing the same to you." His face revealed nothing. "I don't want to be High Lady, you can have the title." _

_ His eyes sparked with fury as he huffed. "Fine, you can winnow back the dead." _

_ "You might find yourself among them." He gripped my arm, right above where father held me. _

_ As soon as he touched me, Azriel had pushed him away from me, all shadows and muscle. _

_ Eris hissed at him but his anger was truly focused on me when he saw that my cheeks had turned transparent with the heat inside my mouth, smoke and embers on each exhale, my tongue like coal, just waiting on my brother to strike the match. He huffed and walked away. _

_ I winced as I allowed my fire to extinguish and my bruise came back as black and blue as ever. "You only made him angrier." I told Azriel. _

_ "He shouldn't have touched you." He said, his voice low and quiet. _

_ "I have been dealt worse." I felt the fury that the Autumn Court was famous for boiling up inside me as I spoke again. "It's not like there was anyone there to save me every time one of Amarantha's demons beat me with only a breath of life left in my body." Everyone became eerily silent as I snarled. "Or when she dragged my entire family, my mother included, to watch strange men feel me up and then beat me until I was unconscious and wouldn't remember anything done to me." I was breathing so hard I was shaking, my hands curled into claws digging into my own palms. "No one was there when we were finally freed and I had to go back to an empty manor and explain to my family what happened when they were shut out and were denied access to me." _

_ I fought back memories of me breaking free that day and killing Lesser Faeries with my bare hands, their blood flowing over my entire body and when I wanted to watch the life leave their eyes, I would force them to the ground, climb atop their horrid bodies and breathe fire into their mouths, watching as they were slowly burned alive, puffs of smoke leaving their nose or ears. And then more memories came flooding in of me spending days in my bathroom back home, scrubbing every inch of my body to get the feel of their hands off of me, rubbing some parts of my body raw to where I couldn't walk for a week. _

_ "I had no idea she was doing that." Rhysand whispered. _

_ "She didn't want you to. She knew you were soft and could not handle this type of torture." I looked at Rhysand square in the eyes. "I will burn that mountain one day." _

_ "I will help you do it." _

_ "Fire is destructive and passionate and deadly and uncontrollable but it can also be cleansing." I didn't know if was explaining that to him or to myself. _

_ "Does Lucien know?" He asked gently. _

_ "No, I doubt Tamlin knew and none of my brothers would have told him while he was Under the Mountain for that short period." _

_ "Not even your mother?" _

_ I shook my head. "She would have been too embarrassed." _

_ "And you?" _

_ "Too empty." His jaw clenched. "There is nothing you could have done, High Lord, there is nothing anyone could have done. And they are all dead now. I made sure of it. Besides, during what I assume is the worst of it, I don't even remember what happened." I gave them all a dazzling smile to where I know I outshone even the striking female in Rhysand's group. Tarquin's eyes widened in amazement and awe. "Do not be sad, your darling mate saved us all, Rhysand, and I have had my fair share of lovers since." Not technically a lie. We looked at each other and he knew what I meant, that the feeling of another's touch, from someone you chose, could somehow take away the memory of a stranger's touch. I cried afterwards. Every single time. _

_ I heard my father bellowing again and I said nothing as I turned away from the Night Court and the Summer High Lord and walked towards my father._

**This chapter is really long, none of my other chapters should be this long but I wanted to get the flashback all in one chapter. **

**I hope you liked it! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again!**

**I do not own any of ACOTAR characters written by the lovely Sarah J. Maas but Lyra is my original character.**

**I'm not a fan of long intros, so here's Chapter 2!**

**Chapter 2 **

I gasped awake and rolled onto my side as fresh tears slid down my cheeks. It had been a year since the war and still I had nightmares of those two days but at least they were finally winning against the nightmares of my life Under the Mountain. I think I'm healing. Finally healing after everything that was done to me. We had already celebrated Samhain and let the leaves floating on the wind commemorate the ashes of those we had burned the moment we had returned home that fateful day. But today was Mabon, today was all about dancing and drinking, tonight was the only night of the year that my father is actually enjoyable to be around.

I wiped my tears away and slid out of bed. My handmaids helped me with my hair, braiding it back from my face so that it would fall in waves later tonight when I unbound them. I had hours yet until I had to be ready for the celebrations so I pulled on a tunic and matching russet orange trousers, my chocolate colored boots coming up to my knees and they were so shiny I could see my reflection in them.

Once ready, I made my way to the breakfast table and kissed my parents on the cheek before taking my seat by mother, staring at Eris where he was seated on the other side of father. My father was actually holding my mother's hand and I could tell she was pleased.

"I'm going to be practicing with my girls today, making sure everything is perfect before tonight so I won't be available if you need me, father, but I am sure Eris would be more than willing to do anything you require." I lied, the dance had been perfected weeks ago but I knew father would believe me. He nodded, forking pancakes into his mouth, not even looking up at me. Perfect.

I took my time eating breakfast, knowing that if I hurried Eris would know that I was up to something. So I chatted with mother, asking how the decorations were going, if the bonfire was going to be even bigger than last year's. She smiled, her beautiful face glowing as she talked freely about the best night of the year. Mabon was safe. Father was delighted about every aspect of Mabon and couldn't be bothered to become angry about anything.

I placed my silverware on my plate, excusing myself from breakfast and my father tilted his face for another kiss on the cheek. I patted his shoulder and he even gave me a soft smile and I ate it up. Eris never got those smiles. Mother more than anyone received his affection but even that was rare nowadays. Maybe I _was _father's weakness.

I walked outside, trapezing through the large tree branches, my feet light and sure as I made my way to the ground. I walked towards the dancer's arena just in case Eris decided to be snoopy and once I was in the cover of the trees once again I winnowed, traveling through air and time to land in the center of Velaris, the City of Starlight.

I didn't have to wait long to be greeted. "You're a long way from home." Rhysand purred.

I spun in his direction and threw him a grand smile. "How is it you get more and more attractive each time I see you?" His eyes sparkled in delight as he threw his head back and laughed.

"How are you related to Beron?" He asked when he recovered, offering me his arm as we started walking towards his home, a townhouse overlooking Velaris.

"No one knows but I look too much like him to deny that he is my father."

We stared at the thousands of steps up to his home and he raised an eyebrow at me in challenge. "Shall we?" He asked, his wings popping out of his back, spreading wide before tucking tight into his back.

I grinned as I nodded. He pulled me tight against his chest and then we took off straight into the air. I screamed in delight and he laughed. It wasn't a long flight but I knew I would be asking him to take me into the sky again. Soon, probably.

We stepped onto the veranda and I placed a hand on his chest for stability as my legs wobbled when they touched the ground. "Feyre is very lucky." I purr as let my hand linger on his pecs.

"Yes I am." Feyre stated as she entered the room. I gave her a smile that said I that I wasn't trying to encroach on her territory.

"Are all of you Night Court men this attractive?" I asked, taking notice of Cassian and Azriel in the room.

"Just us, love." Cassian said with a sultry smile on his face. But I noticed the way the striking female from the war looked at him so I knew he was taken even if it wasn't public yet.

"Azriel, you look absolutely delightful today." I said with a wink. I hadn't seen these people since the war and they looked divine without their beauty coated in grime. His face didn't change but I did notice that the shadows around him got slightly thicker as if he were blushing. "You are so hard to read, Shadowsinger."

"He _is _rather good at controlling his face, isn't he?" A female voice said, Mor I supposed by the feminine lilt. I looked at her and her wink at Azriel was interesting considering I felt no sort of attraction from her to him. Her passions lied elsewhere.

"Not just that. I can feel others' emotions. It's a part of my Firedancer talents. I can feel every emotion in this room, but Azriel, yours is muted. I wonder if that is a part of your talents." I said looking back to the most beautiful man in the room.

Azriel and I were staring at each other rather intensely before my brother interrupted us.

"Lyra, what brings you here? Does father know you're here?"

I laughed and faced him. "Oh heavens no. He thinks I am running a final practice with my girls before tonight's ceremony, but I came here to invite you to come home even if it is only for tonight."

His handsome face dropped. "I would love to, but father-"

"Father will be too drunk to notice you. This is his favorite night, you know that." I swallowed hard and stepped closer to him. "I want you to be there for my final Mabon dance."

"Your final dance? Why are you quitting, you love being a Firedancer." His eyebrows were bunched together and I grabbed his hands so I could comfort him when the blow came.

"I'm no virgin anymore so my value isn't as high as it would have been but father is rather adamant on marrying me off. I won't be able to dance after that."

"He's WHAT?"

"Don't act surprised, Lucien, we all knew this was going to come one day. I got many more years of freedom than I deserved. I'll probably stay in the Court, some courtier will probably pay handsomely for a princess. Although, I know Tarquin's been inquiring about me. I could do worse than a High Lord. At least he is kind."

"Tarquin is vying for your hand?" Rhysand asks. "Not to get in the middle of anything, but _Tarquin_?"

I nodded. "Ever since that final day in the war camps I noticed that I held his attention, but he didn't start writing to me until a couple months later. To give me some time to heal, I suppose." I shrugged. "And I have strong genetics. My mother bore eight children for my father, seven of them sons, that's unheard of for High Fae so one could assume that I would have similar success." I made a face. "It's rather hot in the Summer Court though, I don't know how I would fare, especially considering my pale skin."

"You're acting like you've already chosen Tarquin." Lucien hissed.

"Don't be ridiculous, Lucien, I don't get to choose; father will marry me off like every other High Lord of Autumn has done with their daughters—sell me to the highest bidder."

"Disgusting." Amren, the very famous and deadly Amren spat.

"You're not going to get my father to change his mind, Lucien, but I want you with me tonight. Please come home with me." He didn't say anything, he just nodded as he kissed the backs of my hands.

"I will send Azriel with him, keep Lucien concealed as much as possible so no trouble is aroused." Rhysand stated causing Azriel to look shocked but he eventually schooled his features and nodded to his High Lord.

I noticed the position of the sun. "I have to head back, but I will see you at the party, do not leave without hunting me down and saying goodbye. Okay?" Lucien nodded, his tan skin rather pale.

Rhysand flew me down to the ground and with one final look up at my brother, I winnowed back home. I quickly ran to my dancers and got dressed with them, my skirt riding low on my hips and my top showing plenty of stomach, back, and breasts. I unbraided my hair and ruffled it so that it lay in even waves down my torso.

I greeted my brother in the hallway and my girls giggled over him and his handsomeness. He gave them a long wink and a low bow as we passed by him, the flower crown on his head made him look youthful and kind both things he was not.

The musicians were in their place and my father had his golden crown resting atop his head as he and my mother made their way out into the celebration where at least a hundred of High Fae had gathered.

"Thank you for coming all this way tonight to celebrate the Autumn Equinox with my family and myself. Without further ado, let me introduce my daughter Lyra and her Firedancers." He swept his arms wide and stepped out of the way as we made our way barefoot into the open space.

The horns started blowing and then the drums were pounding. I wasn't singing tonight, but one of my girls who had injured her ankle took the honor. I was swaying my hips, twisting my torso so that the fire reflected off of the sweat already building there. Our feet became ablaze and we charred the ground where we stepped. Our shoulders were jerking, our arms above our heads thanking the Cauldron for all that it has given us. Each of my dancers and I grabbed the nearest High Fae male and shimmied our way down their fronts, our hands tracing where our breasts just were. I undulated my entire body and even my father joined in on the final beats of the dance, his feet moving perfectly in tune with us, the Autumn High Lord celebrating everything about his season, the smell of the roasted pig wafting over to us, the ripe berries piled high on top of tables, maple syrup gathered fresh from our trees for dipping homemade bread into. Leaves were crunching and sizzling under our feet as the drums beat faster. My father took my hand as everyone paired up and together we completed the final seconds of the song, our torsos shimmying back and forth and then dancing wildly once again, and when the last beat was sounded, we threw our arms above our heads, fire shooting out of our hands, illuminating the entire arena.

As well as the party goers.

Tarquin was in attendance. And I could barely make out Lucien in the tree line, Azriel's handsome face next to him. I shot him a wide smile, my chest heaving trying to fill my lungs with air. Lucien looked proud, Azriel looked confused.

My father grabbed my shoulders and kissed each of my cheeks, a rare full smile on his face. He was so handsome, my father was and I could truly see myself in his features, the height of his cheeks, the fullness of his mouth, even the amber of his eyes were now my own. I ran my hand through his hair and kissed his cheeks in return.

"My daughter, my beautiful, beautiful daughter." He said almost reverently. He smiled once more before moving to dance with my mother as another song started playing. An Autumn Court High Fae took my hand and swung me into a dance. He knew the proper moves, his feet and torso moving with mine in tune with the drum, the fire illuminating our auburn hair. Someone passed me a goblet of wine and I tipped it back, drinking it in two gulps.

Firelight glinted off the male's teeth as he grinned at me, cocky and attractive as all Autumn Court High Fae are. I felt Tarquin's presence and his eyes burrowing into my back so I wasn't surprised when the Autumn male I was dancing with growled but backed away as the High Lord neared. His hands rested on my bare lower back and I placed my hand on the side of his neck, feeling his pulse accelerate.

"You move beautifully." He breathed.

"Do I?" He didn't quite know the moves to this dance so I instructed him on how to move his hips, his torso, and his shoulders. Tarquin was quite attractive, very attractive actually with his golden caramel skin and his sun bleached white hair. His sea colored eyes were transfixed on my own auburn eyes. He moved like the ocean, fluid and entrancing as he danced with me. And if he can move like this dancing… I couldn't imagine what he would be like in bed then. "Autumn looks good on you, High Lord." I whispered. He smiled and his white teeth sparkled.

"Thank you. I have a feeling everything looks good on you, Lyra." The blush that came upon my cheeks wasn't faked.

"You would be right." He laughed. He was beautiful.

He was about to lean down and tell me something but Eris interrupted and deigned to dance with me. Tarquin, ever the gentleman, kissed my hand and let my brother dance with me as a slower song was being played, but eyed my brother carefully as if he wanted to drown him on dry land for taking me away from him but decided it would make political matters messy.

"The High Lord wants to buy you, Lyra."

"I know." I said sadly.

"Then why are you encouraging him?" He didn't understand, males never do, I would rather be bought by Tarquin and eventually fall in love with him, because I felt like Tarquin would not be hard to love; he cares for his people and he is fighting for equality of the classes in his own Court, than to be bought by someone within my own court and be miserable. Tarquin, at least, is a good male, an honest male.

"Because this part, at least, I have control over. I can flirt and smile and giggle enough to the right male and he will make sure he outbids everyone else. I can fight for my future this way."

"And Tarquin is your choice?" He asks sounding almost concerned and sad that he is to loose me soon.

I give him a coy smile. "Well, Rhysand is taken so Tarquin is a close second in terms of looks." He hisses at me and I laugh.

"Although he does have rather attractive males in his group. I wonder if wing length correlates to the length of something else." His eyes became molten with fury. "The Shadowsinger is especially handsome."

"He is too caught up with Morrigan to notice that she does not love him in the way he loves her." He said with a wicked smirk.

"I know, I wish she would tell him so he can move on and find love outside of her."

"You can tell our brother that I know he is hiding in the shadows with the Shadowsinger, go dance with him before he leaves. I will cover for you."

"At what cost?"

He smiles sadly at me. "Not everything I do for you has to come at a cost, sister." He kisses my forehead and gently pushes me away. My feet make no sound as I walk over leaves and fallen limbs.

Lucien says nothing as we join together for a slow dance, my arms holding him tight to me, hot tears falling down my face as we sway together for possibly the last time. I raise my face from the crook of his neck and rest my cheek against his.

"Father is planning the party for next month, on the full moon-"

"Shhh."

"I won't be free after that." I clutched handfuls of his hair and his hold on me tightened. I didn't see Azriel so he must have blended in to the shadows but I knew he could still hear us. I wonder if he heard the conversation with Eris about Mor? "I want to meet her, this girl that I hear is your mate. She must be beautiful."

"The most beautiful." There was such love and devotion in his voice and I smiled through my tears for him. We danced for several more heartbeats before I heard people coming closer to the woods. "You should go." He whispered. I nodded and he kissed my cheek. "You did so good tonight, sister. The best I've ever seen."

"Do you remember my first Mabon dance?" I asked quietly. He nodded. "I almost messed up, _twice_ but father was so proud and I was so nervous, but you told me to live in the moment, to trust myself and to know that I would know what to do when the time came. I hope that I can live by that when all of this is over."

"We'll find something, I promise." He said, his mechanical eye whirring wildly.

I smile sadly and trace the scars on his face. "Do not promise such things, Lucien." I straighten my spine and held my head high. "I will make the best out of whatever situation I am thrown into. Trust me when I say that if my new husband lays a hand on me or tries to lay me upon a path I do not trust, I will incinerate him." I said it calmly enough that my brother believed me and he nodded. I go to step away, but I say one last thing. "You have always been my favorite. Mother's too. It's why Eris despises you so much. But he was the one that warned Tamlin to be at his Court's edge when you retaliated after Jessminda." I shake my head. "Eris is awful but there are parts of him that are good and those are the parts that keep me coming back." I look to the Shadowsinger, where he materialized out of the air. "Eris had nothing to do with what happened to Morrigan. He gave her a way out. He could have taken her anyway but he knew she could never love him, that she was physically unable to ever love him." I look back at Lucien. "And that is all Eris has ever wanted—someone to love him." I blow a kiss towards my brother. "Be safe, brother." He nodded, his face still pinched in confusion but he caught my air kiss and held it to his heart just as they disappeared.

**Thank you for reading!**

**Azriel is my favorite character from ACOTAR, he deserves so much love! **

**I'm trying to upload every weekend, so I will see all you lovelies next week!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome back!**

**Once again, I do not own any characters that SJM wrote, but my girl Lyra is all mine. **

**Without further adieu, here is Chapter 3!**

**Chapter 3**

I made my way back to the party and headed to the food. The meat carver sliced me off a large part of pork, giving me chunks of skin to chew on, as well as fresh berries and bread. It didn't take long for Tarquin to hunt me down again.

"You would look devastating in Summer." He whispered.

"Is that a proposal? Because my father would be rather irate if you asked me to marry me before you bought me." A flush crossed his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak but I laid a hand on his arm. "Don't speak. This is my last Mabon and I want to dance."

"Then let's dance."

I smirk at him and I can feel the bonfire throw my face into shadows and angles. "Don't get burned." I set my plate down and walk into the mass of bodies dancing. My parents were dancing and even my brothers had found girls to dance with. I closed my eyes while I moved my body, letting the drum and violin drive me. I leaned against Tarquin, my back to his rather hard torso and his hands found my hips and his breath was hot on my neck. I spun around in his arms and his pupils were dilated, his eyes darkened. I smiled at him leaning in brushing past his mouth to his ear. "Bet high next month." I backed away from him, letting my fingertips brush down his torso delighted at what I felt. I bit my lip and his chest was rising rather high with his heavy breathing.

The rest of the night blurred by, lots of dancing, eating, and wine consumption. And when the sun was finally cresting over the earth and the bonfire was nothing but embers, the party was disassembled and we all parted to our bedrooms to sleep the day away, several with partners to give the night a proper send off. Tarquin lingered and I could tell he wanted to be invited to my bedroom but I kissed his cheek and made my way to bed alone. My brothers, on the other hand, did not.

I did not see Tarquin again over the next month, I did not see much of anyone really. I wonder if Cressida was warning her High Lord not to spend their entire fortune for his lust. I wanted to write him to warn him just that but I knew that he was my only shot at a semi-happy life. He was attractive, unbelievably so and he cared for his people. He would not be hard to love. And certainly, bedding him would be no hardship.

I wonder if he was thinking the same as I dressed for tonight. Usually, I was not allowed in father's meetings but since I am the center of discussion, the heavy oak doors opened for me as I entered the room. Eris was there looking dashing in his dark red suit, so dark it almost looked black. The joy that was on my father's face during Mabon was long gone and was once again replaced with cold, hard neutrality. He gave me a once over and nodded his approval at my choice of dresses. The gold offset my pale skin and my scarlet hair and I framed my face with nothing but red lips and wide eyes.

I saw a few courtiers just as I knew there would be and for a moment I felt afraid. These men had deep pockets and they eyed me like I was the pig roasting during Mabon. Tarquin slipped into the room, looking resplendent in a suit of deep navy with silver embroidering along the collar. I looked at him with pleading eyes and he ever so slightly nodded and I almost sighed. These Autumn Fae may have deep pockets but they do not have the wealth of a High Lord, in fact, some of them started whispering and sweating as they eyed the Summer Lord.

And then, out of nowhere, black shimmering smoke appeared and Rhysand, the High Lord of Night, walked out dusting off his all black ensemble. "I heard there was a party. I'm hurt that you didn't invite me, Beron."

My father's face turned red. "You were not invited, you already have a mate." He scoffed. "Or is she not enough for you?"

Rhysand's pretty mouth curled up into a crooked grin. "Feyre and I were discussing adding an additional element to our nighttime play and we both agreed that Lyra would something _hot _to our bed."

Tarquin was furious but not nearly as roaring as my father. And brother.

"How dare you suggest that my sister be anything such as that to someone like you?" He hissed.

"I'm sorry, I thought this was an auction for the Princess of Autumn, what do you think she will be to these other men but something to play with? I brought plenty of gold, I'm sure you'll find my offer plenty enticing, Beron." A sliver of paper wafted over to my father and when he beheld the amount written on it, his skin blanched.

I looked at Rhysand. _What are you doing? You're ruining everything! _I scowled at him. He looked at me seriously and nodded his head ever so slightly as if to say _Hold on_

"Where did you get this kind of money?" Beron demanded to know.

"You don't need to know that." Rhysand purred. "What do you say, Beron?" My hands felt hot and my hands left a char on my father's cherry tree desk that only Tarquin and Eris noticed.

"Done." Beron whispered, his voice both furious and stunned.

"Father." He did not even cast me one last look as Rhysand gripped my hand and winnowed me away.

We were at his townhouse again and I snarled as I shoved him with every ounce of strength in my body causing him to fly into the farthest wall. Amren and his Illyrians growled but the sound that ripped out of my body stopped their movements towards me. My hands were engulfed in blue fire, the hottest of fires for my strongest of furies. I felt Azriel use his magic to bind me but I tore through them like paper as I advanced towards the High Lord. Feyre was by his side and her eyes were pierced on me, her lips raised over teeth in warning. High Lady, indeed.

"WHY?" I screamed, shaking the building.

"I'm sorry, did you want to be sold like chattel?" Rhysand asked, his voice calm not at all afraid.

"I have already been sold like chattel! Or was that not your money that bought me?" His mouth flicked downwards.

"Sister." Lucien whispered. I spun towards him, fire in my eyes.

"Did you condone this?" I hissed.

"Listen to him." He said quietly trying not to anger me.

"You have five seconds before I set this city ablaze."

"You would not make it to six, girl." Amren said coolly. I was not afraid as I gave her a silent snarl.

"Start explaining!"

"I bought your freedom." Rhysand said.

"You said I was to be the third party in your bedroom. An _active _third party." I said though clenched teeth, my fire growing brighter. Amren cocked her head to the side as she examined my hands.

"You said what?" Both Cassian and Lucien shouted.

Rhysand had the good sense to look slightly ashamed. "I wanted to anger Beron and Eris." He explained.

"And in the process you made me out as some sort of whore! With the others it was clear I was to be a wife, a mother, but you belittled me into nothing more than a sex slave. Publically. I will not be able to ever have a respectable name again." I heard the floor sizzling as my feet charred the wood floors. "There is no taking that back." I felt Azriel try to touch my shoulders to try and calm me down but I spun on him. "Unless you want to burn your hands again, I would suggest not touching me." Morrigan hissed at me and I returned the favor.

"You do not have to stay here. You can run off to Tarquin if that's what you want, I just wanted you to be able to choose your future. I didn't want you saddled with some male you didn't want."

"That is not your decision to make."

"I apologize." He said sincerely.

"Unless you can reverse time and undo your actions I will not accept any sort of apology." I felt my flames start to flicker out as tears started to burn my eyes. "I was going to be a Lady in Summer, a female with position and respect and now I am to be viewed as nothing more than your whore." My chest was heaving with fury and unshed tears.

I didn't know where to go, I wanted to cry myself to sleep but I didn't want to sleep here in this house full of strangers. I wanted to explode and burn until even myself was nothing but ashes.

I walked out of the townhouse, down the thousand steps, past the music and the restaurants. I walked until I was in the trees with nothing around me for miles and then I burned, I burned even as I cried for my lost existence and reputation, for my father for doing this to me, for Rhysand being an idiot, and for all that I could have been.

I don't know how long I was out there in the woods until Lucien found me one day. He said nothing as he picked me up and winnowed back to the townhouse. He was speaking to me, telling me that he had no idea that was the ruse he was going to use, that it was him who had begged Rhysand to do something to help me since I saved Rhysand's life, but I didn't have the energy to reply to him.

Apparently Tarquin sent a scathing note to Rhysand shortly after that eventful day as well as a note to myself but I haven't opened it yet even though I gazed at the beautiful, scrawling cursive of my name often. They gave me food but I hardly touched it. I just watched the sun rise and set.

For the most part, they left me alone, although I could feel Azriel's shadows checking on me every now and then and every other day or so Azriel himself would come and sit with me on the balcony, not saying anything but it was nice to have his presence. I don't know how long we kept this up for but one day Azriel spoke.

"Which part are you mad at exactly?" He asked.

"All of it." His head moved towards me as if he was surprised I listened and even more shocked that I answered. "But anger takes energy. I'm just sad now. I don't even think I could touch my flames right now."

"Rhysand is sorry, will you speak with him?"

"No."

"Why haven't you opened Tarquin's letter?"

"I'm afraid." I whispered.

"Of what?"

"That he wouldn't have me now. Or that he would." He said nothing. "Does Cassian and the other girl know they're mates yet?" I pause. "No, of course they don't, they suspect or at least Cassian does but she is afraid of feeling that much, of allowing herself to." I pick up the cup of tea he had brought me but I did not look at him. "Have you spoken to Morrigan?" He looked confused. "No, you are not upset so you have not spoken to her." I take a sip. "You're harder to read, your fire does not speak to me as loudly as the others but it still speaks, just in whispers."

"Mor?"

"She has something she needs to tell you, but she will not." I was rambling at this point, my body and mind starved of food and company as well as my magic overflowing with lack of use. Something Azriel no doubt noticed.

"Why?"

"It is not my place to say." I take another sip. "I feel everything, you know. Not just my own emotions but others' too. You can't shield against feelings."

"And what are you feeling?" He asked me.

"Empty." He did not say anything for a long time. "You can go relay everything I said to your High Lord now." He looked at me for a long few seconds before he was nothing but shadow and mist. It was days again before someone else tried to come see me. This time they sent Lucien who offered to show me around Velaris but when I declined, he threw me over his shoulder and took me anyway. I did not fight him.

He told me about his pretty mate, Elain, and her sister—the sharp faced beauty that I did not know the name of, Nesta and of day to day life now that the war was over. Everything was peaceful, everyone laughed and ate and loved. Elain grew a garden, a beautiful garden he said. Nesta preferred to be alone reading and sometimes Cassian would join her. Rhysand and Feyre he barely mentioned but he said they were either at the library reading or with each other at the castle atop the Hewn City.

Velaris was beautiful and there were children running and laughing as they played and I could not help but offer them a small smile as they noted how beautiful our hair was. I never thought my red hair was anything but ordinary growing up but here everyone either had dark or very light hair, no red.

My stomach growled at some point and he offered to buy me something to eat but I declined. He didn't take that as an answer and bought some sort of meat on a stick that we could eat while we walked and he watched me carefully and pointedly making sure I ate the whole thing.

I didn't see Rhysand when we entered the townhouse again but I could smell him so I knew he was hiding. Amren, on the other hand, was not. And neither was her date, Varian, Tarquin's second-in-command. We stared at each other and he took in my gaunt form with displeasure.

"Where did you get that blue fire, girl?"

"I have always had it."

"Only High Lord of Autumn is supposed to have blue fire."

"Well I am his daughter." I raised my chin daring her to say something. When she said nothing I looked at Varian. "How is he?"

"He would like to see you."

"I would like that too, I think." He gave me another cursory once over.

"Eat some food before you see him, you look like death." I blush and Amren lightly hits his shoulder. "I have been told that Rhysand did not mean what he said and that he has not touched you?" I nodded. "I will relay that to Tarquin and set up a meeting for next week."

"Thank you." I open my mouth but the question dies in my throat. So I try again. "How bad is it?"

"Everyone has heard." I close my eyes and slowly nod.

"I'm going to bed." I mutter.

"It's barely afternoon." Amren snapped.

"I don't care." I make my way to the room they gave me and I make myself comfortable on the balcony where I finally open Tarquin's letter.

_I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. _

_ I want to dance with you again. _

_ I will not give up._

**Don't you love Tarquin? I need side stories written by her Royal Majesty Sarah J Maas herself of all the other High Lords! I love Tarquin and Kallias!**

**I'm also really obsessed with the Autumn Court (if you can't tell lol)**

**I'll be back next week! Thank you for reading and as always any constructive criticism is welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! Sorry for the late update, my cousin had her bachelorette party last weekend and it drained every drop of energy from me. 24 isn't old, but it's too old to be out that late lol. I slept for 12 hours afterwards! **

**Once again, I do not own any of the characters written by lovely SJM, but Lyra is my creation.**

**With that being said, here is chapter 4. **

**Chapter 4**

_I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. _

_ I want to dance with you again. _

_ I will not give up. _

That's it. That's all he wrote.

My heart hurt with how much I wanted to see him. So much so that I could not wait until next week. I winnowed straight to Adriata, the use of magic, my first in weeks, was such a relief on my body that I nearly cried. The air was crisp and warm and the sea was glittering and alive. I walked straight into the massive home and found his office by smell. I knocked and the doors were thrown open with Tarquin standing right there and yet all I could do was stare at him.

"Lyra." He breathed.

"I wanted to see you." I whispered. His golden honeyed fingers touched my cheeks, noticing how slim I've gotten.

"Let's eat, first."

His hand stayed on my back as he led me to the kitchens, piling me a plate high of fresh cooked fish and potatoes. He watched me much as Lucien did as I ate every single bite.

"Tell me what happened when he took you back. Please." He whispered. "If you want to, that is."

"I screamed at him and he left me alone. He has apologized for what he told my father my purpose was to be but I haven't forgiven him. I'll never be respectable now. But he has given me my freedom, he says. He doesn't want me for the bedroom he just said that to rile my father and brother. I saved his life in the war so he thinks this is the response I wanted from him."

"He hasn't touched you?" I shook my head. "I'm foolish for thinking he would."

"Everyone thinks I'm his whore now." He touched my cheek again.

"They will learn that is not true."

"How?" I asked, tired and shaky, my fingers twitching from my lack of magic usage.

"By picking me. You said he gave you your freedom, choose me, Lyra." I gave him a sad smile as I touched his beautiful face.

"I just want to think right now. I don't want to choose you when I am like this, I want to be happy, healthy, and dancing when I choose you." He looked sad but he nodded. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder while he held me and while I read his emotions. There was sorrow, relief, and confusion, but there was also a kernel of love there. Love. _Love. _I wept as he held me harder.

He said nothing as he wiped my tears away and then he held my hand as he took me for a walk along the water's edge. His shoes had disappeared and he offered to carry mine while he continued to hold my hand with the other. A kind male in every way.

He asked me what I had been doing besides not eating and I told him the truth which he frowned at but I could tell he understood. He asked if my brother or anyone in my family had tried to contact me and I told him that they hadn't.

"Will you go back?" He eventually asked as the sun started setting and we were sitting on the beach, sand between our toes.

"For my brother I will. I know he worries. But I would like to come back? Maybe for extended stays?" The setting sun glinted off of his turquoise eyes and he took my breath away with how handsome he is.

"I would love to show you my home." He said, his voice soft and sentimental. I leaned in and kissed his cheek, my mouth lingering for a second longer than necessary, just enjoying the heat coming off of him, warming me to my core.

I winnowed back to the Night Court before I would do something stupid. And there was chaos. Not a battle, though, but the townhouse was a mess.

"There you are!" Lucien yelled as he embraced me tightly. "Where were you?"

"I went to see Tarquin." I explained and his body sagged with relief. "Why? What happened?"

"Eris came to see you and you weren't here." That would explain the mess. I got a glimpse of Rhysand in the room and lingering anger bubbled up from deep within me and I let out a low snarl. I wanted to rage but I turned to my brother instead.

"Where is he?"

"He went back to Autumn after he wrecked the place looking for you." I noticed a bundle of orange and silver. "He brought you your things." I walked over and stroked the thick linen of my favorite tunic and then the scabbard holding my personal sword. I unsheathed it and the room stiffened, remembering how I fell dozens of Hybern soldiers during the war with but a few swipes of this sword. My eyes pass over the room as I sheath my weapon silently letting them know that I am still fully capable of slaughtering.

I wave my hand over my belongings and it made its new home in a pocket in the universe that belonged solely to me. Without saying a word, I made my way to the kitchens and ate mouthfuls of food, trying to put weight back on.

I slept fitfully that night but I was up at dawn, dressed and my sword strapped to my back. I could already hear them training on the rooftop and I silently made my way up to them, the Illryians sword fighting rather loudly, metal clashing and the grown men grunting with their movements. I lingered by the doorway and watched them, putting their movements to memory.

Cassian was controlled, an absolute war machine as his muscles rolled under his skin. Savage and effective. Azriel, on the other hand, was systematic and precise, knowing Cassian's moves as well as his own. They were already shirtless and sweating in the early morning sunrise and their dark navy tattoos were the focal point on their tanned skin. I could see how high up Azriel's burn scars go and my heart ached for him.

"Mind if I join?" I asked, shocking them out of their play and they looked me over as they were still gasping for air. My burnt orange colored pants clung to my long legs and the shirt I wore was sleeveless showing off my arms and collarbone. I had tied up my long hair before ascending the stairs up to the roof and I could feel Azriel's eyes go to my neck.

Cassian gave me a mocking low bow. "Of course not, princess. We would be honored." I started walking towards them and he gave me a dirty smirk. "Your asshole of a brother never seemed to be a match for either of us so I'd love to see what you have."

I unsheathed my sword and kept my face cool and unbothered as I answered him. "I saved both of your friends' lives that day during the war, I'd say I'm pretty skilled." I leveled my sword against his, the metals vastly different but just as strong as the other and he admired the wave of my blade as if it were a snake. Or a tendril of fire. "And never compare me to Eris."

I started the challenge, moving my feet towards him forcing him to retreat. He didn't expect me to have the amount of strength I possessed since I had been wasting away these past weeks and I used that to my advantage as I gained the early high ground.

He didn't go easy on me, though as we both tried to swipe at each other and disarm the other's sword. He was trained well, he didn't even glance at Nesta, the woman I have gathered is his mate, as she made her way to the roof.

"No magic, princess." He reminded me.

I smirk at him as a drop of sweat fell on my nose. "I wouldn't want to scar you." Fury flashed in his eyes and he banged his sword against mine with more strength than previously. But still, I held on. Our swordplay was pretty evenly matched and since I knew more about him than he did me, I started talking. "What a pretty little tool you are, Cassian." I flashed him a feral grin one full of white teeth and malice. He grunted as our swords clashed again. "How does Morrigan feel now that you are no longer so useful as a buffer between her and Azriel now that Nesta holds all of your attention?" I cock my head to the side ever so slightly. "Do you know her truth? Feyre does. All of you are so terrible at hiding your emotions. The pretty one, Nesta, is the only one good at shielding her emotions. I can still read her, of course, but it is more difficult. So quick to defend your females," I said noting the anger in his face and stance, "but not so much for the females outside your group." I hiss as his sword slices my arm but I chuckle once I regain my footing. "Court of Foxes, remember?" Calling it an even fight, we both back away, chests heaving. I look at the wound on my arm, touching it gently and then placing it to my lips, licking the blood off, staining my lips. His eyes widened in horror and disgust. "And yet your High Lord bought the Princess of Foxes and brought her to his home. We wouldn't want sensitive information getting out, would we? Like the Captain of Rhysand's army still has a weak spot in his wing from where it was shredded by Hybern, and that his pretty little female is powerful but untrained. I wonder who would pay the most for that bit of information alone? Or for whatever secrets Morrigan is hiding." I give him another wicked grin.

"Why do you keep bringing up Mor?" He hissed, Azriel quietly circling, making sure I don't attack.

I kept Cassian's eye contact but spoke to Azriel. "I broke through your binds as if it were nothing, Shadowsinger, I do not think anything else you could use to hold me back will be efficient." To Cassian, this time, I spoke. "Perhaps you should ask her. It is not my place to say, just to simply hint. I think it is past time, she should at least tell her family. After all, what is family if there is not trust?" I give out a low laugh as I smile, the blood still slightly coating my teeth.

"Why are you taking your anger for Rhysand out on everyone else? If you want to fight, go face him, don't speak in riddles trying to start something." He hissed.

"Because I cannot fight your High Lord without there being an audience. Without his guard dogs to block any potential hit I may land. Because you did not stop him. Because no one in this house thought to let me fight my own battles, I did not ask for help but you gave it anyway and now it has ruined me. I will cleave this world in two if I must." I give him one last smirk. "And just think of the relationship you'd have with Autumn if I did become High Lady. The embarrassment you caused me. Not many courts care for Autumn but no court cares for Night. Someone should keep their High Lord in check."

"He meant well, we all did."

"Is that supposed to change anything?" I felt my fingertips light on fire. "I have every right to be angry and no one in this household can tell me any different. I thought Rhysand was adamant on choice, on letting people decide for themselves that they wanted out of life. And yet he took my choice from me. He would have been off better killing me."

"Tell this to Rhysand, not me."

"I do not want his empty apologies."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want to set this world ablaze."

He walked off the roof, Nesta following after him only once she threw me some dirty glances. Azriel didn't leave.

"I'm sorry for the comment I made. About the scars. And the threat I made to give you more."

"Why apologize to me and not Cassian?" He said as he walked closer.

"Because Cassian doesn't have a very visible sign he has had a severe traumatic experience while he was growing up. I shouldn't have mentioned your scars. And also you're the only one besides my brother to even check in on me and I appreciate it even though your shadows tend to linger for quite some time." His cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink.

"I did the same for Elain."

"You did not have to."

"Someone had to."

I looked at him curiously, trying to read what he was feeling. "So you volunteered?" He said nothing.

"What Rhysand did to get you here was wrong and nothing will ever make up for it, but you are free to come and go as you please. You could return home to Autumn if you wanted. Go live with Tarquin. You told me that anger takes energy and that you have none. So why are you holding on to your anger?"

"Because that's the only time I can tell I am actually feeling anything at all." I felt his sorrow, shame, understanding, and realization all at once.

"You don't love Tarquin." He stated.

"But I could. Easily. And he is starting to love me. I felt it. A tiny kernel of pure light." I shrugged. "I have not mated yet and I have lived a long time, marriage to a kind male is all I can look forward to now."

I heard the flapping of giant wings and I look up in the sky to see Rhysand and Feyre flying and poised to land on the roof with us. I snarled at the sky and moved to leave, but Azriel gripped my wrist, the first time he has actually touched me, his scarred hands calloused and mottled but strong and capable.

"They went to Autumn." Azriel explained.

"Why?"

"To try and repair the damage he started." I scoffed and he gave me a sideways look telling me to watch myself. I understood what he meant. He would protect his High Lord the way I would protect mine.

They landed, Rhysand far more graceful than Feyre but considering she wasn't born with wings, I gave her a pass.

"Out with it." I spat.

"I explained myself to Beron, I told him that's not really why I… paid for you, I offered to slice into the minds of those that were there and those they had told to make ramifications but that did not go over well."

"I bet." I scoff.

"But I did it anyway." I looked at him blankly. "What I did was wrong, I should not have even gone that night let alone said what I did. Beron is sure to find out what I did and he will be angry beyond repair but I'm hoping maybe his only daughter can convince him not to start a war?"

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. "You're trying to tell me that you tracked down every single person who was told what happened and changed their memories? What did you make them become? You still bought me."

"I made them think that I paid for you so I could have you in my Court, as a powerful ally that could help the female Illyrians learn to fight."

"You need to tell Tarquin that."

"I will be writing a letter as soon as we go inside." His face was serious but there was real regret coming off of him as well as hope that I would forgive him.

"I'm still mad at you." I stated.

"I understand."

"But thank you." A weight seemed to lift off of his shoulders as he nodded and he and his mate went inside.

Azriel and I didn't speak for a long time as we just stood there, him waiting on me to say something and me waiting for him to ask me questions. "You would be a good High Lady." He stated.

"Is that so? Well, I don't want it. To be Lady over all of those foxes. Eris has been fighting for that title his entire life, he can have it."

"Perhaps the one that wants power the most isn't the one that should obtain it." I look at him and his face for once was not shrouded in shadows allowing me to see just how striking his face is, the dark hazel of his eyes boring into my russet ones. His black hair was cropped close to his head but it still fell over his forehead in the slightest of waves. His cheekbones were high and so sharp that I thought they would cut my hand if I ever slapped him. His mouth, oh his mouth, was full and red.

"What a lonely life I would have." I look away from the intensity of his gaze. "I would have to kill Eris, I would never be able to trust him as he would be furious and jealous and try to kill me. I would probably kill my other brothers too, they are of no use to me. I would keep mother close but beyond her there is no one I could trust; I have no friends there, no court I could trust to give me reliable information and counsel. I have no Court of Dreams."

He stepped closer to me, his footwork silent as a cat. "When the time comes and you happened to crowned High Lady, I will ensure you have a Court of Dreams of your own." I locked gazes with him again and his seriousness caught me off guard, this eye contact was too intimate, too emotional, too committal. I could feel the heat coming off of his body and his wings rustled with the new movement. I moved cautiously as I lifted a hand inch by inch, making sure he knew I was reaching for him. He watched me as I broke eye contact and looked to his wings. They were so much like a bat's, membranous and dark.

"May I?" I asked before my hand reached his shoulder. His eyes were dark as he nodded. I ran a finger over the hard bone at the top of the wing and then the soft skin below it. His breathing sped up ever so slightly and I glanced at him.

"They're…. sensitive." He explained.

I jerked my hand back. "Was I hurting you?" I scanned his emotions and it was not pain he was experiencing, but… excitement. "Oh." I lowered my hand and he gently gripped my wrist.

"It's nothing." He assured me.

I gave him a small smile. "I know. I'm not the one you want." He lets go of my wrist, something strange in his eyes but I couldn't get a proper reading on his emotions to know what he was feeling. I go to leave and I see Mor standing on the rooftop, watching us. Azriel blushes but I held my head high as I walk to her. "You need to tell him."

"Tell him what?" There was fear rolling off of her, it was in her eyes.

"I think you know what. Or have you forgotten that I can read emotions?" I give her a simmering glare and walk off the rooftop, leaving them to talk. Inside the house I can see Lucien sitting with who must be Elain and his descriptions did not do her loveliness justice. Lucien jumped to his feet when he saw me, a smile already on his handsome face but it turned to a frown when he saw the cut on my arm. "It's fine. I'm fine." I told him. "You mother hen." Elain chuckled. "I'm Lyra, Lucien's older sister." I told her, giving her my hand. I could see Nesta hovering just outside the room, ready to kill me if I hurt her sister. Elain smiled sweetly and took my hand.

I left them alone and decided to go to Velaris, to enjoy what my brother was trying to show me that day. I ate food and looked at the pretty dresses, their fashion so different from my home's. But it was the dancers that kept my attention, their movements slow and sensual, so similar yet so different from what I was accustomed to. I don't know how I long I sat there for, watching them practice and then perform.

I did not join them, though, and when the sun started to set, I left for the townhouse again, heading for the rooftop once more. Here, there was no one to beat the drums for me, to sound the horn either but I danced and jumped and twirled, my flames circling my feet and hands, giving me a crown of fire as I said goodbye to the scarlet of the sunset and fell to my knees, my body folding over them until my forehead rested against the roof and my hands were reaching for the sun, twisting upwards as if I could hold it myself, setting in the direction of my homeland as the oncoming darkness of night swept over me.

**Thank you for reading! **

**I have a wedding to go to this weekend, but I will be sure to upload a chapter by Sunday!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the late upload! I seriously thought I would have the energy to upload after the Wedding last weekend (which was STUNNING btw) but the 2 hour drive up the mountains and the 2 hour drive back down was exhausting to say the least. Buut, I have returned with Chapter 5.**

**As always, I do not own any of the lovely characters created by our queen Sarah J Maas but Lyra is all mine. **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5 **

I sat up on my knees as the stars overhead starting twinkling and I began to sing. I didn't want to bother anyone other than the stars so I sang it quietly, reverently of how the season of change has left me behind now that I have changed without it. I sang of past hurts and an unknown future.

I felt Azriel's shadows lurking behind me, I could feel their overwhelming grief and sadness. I take it Mor finally spoke to him. I did not confront him though, if he wanted to speak he would come to me. So I sang for him too. Of broken hearts and secrets, of shadows and fire, and hunger, hunger for love and to be loved in return. He materialized next to me, his body going in and out of shadows. I twisted my hand to where my palm was face up in offering and he gripped my hand in his, our fingers intertwining as I finished the song, until the song was nothing but my soft humming.

We both knew that Cassian was standing at the entrance to the roof but neither of us acknowledged him. When my song ended all was silent for a moment.

"Another." Azriel pleaded, his voice soft and scratchy.

I obliged, singing another soft, Autumn song. After that, I sang another and then another until I ran out of songs to sing from my home so I sang a new one, one I heard villagers and soldiers sing about the war. All the while his hand stayed in mine. And when I had finally ran out of songs to sing, we sat in companionable silence.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be. I didn't see it when I should have."

"People either run to or from love. Others tend to ball it up into themselves giving pieces out freely until there is nothing left to live on and then they stay in place hoping it finds them again." I squeeze his hand, making sure there was not a wink of flames in my hand. He was still flickering in and out of nothingness although his hand remained solid within mine. I turn my head to look at him and I couldn't see his face through the shadows. So I leaned my head on his shoulder and he instantly became solid, not wanting me to fall through his form and hit the roof. I don't know how he wasn't screaming to the world, raging until there wasn't anything left inside his body but I knew I liked to be held when I was upset so I returned the favor. Without letting go of his hand, I maneuvered myself onto his lap and drew his head to my neck, stroking his hair, wrapping my arms around him, eventually letting his fingers slip through mine as he circled his arms around my waist and pulled me tight. He didn't cry, either he had no more tears to shed or his pride was so large even now he didn't want to cry in front of me, but his breathing was heavy and fast and hot on my neck.

"My father always told me and my brothers that crying was a sign of weakness and that we shouldn't show weakness not even to ourselves but I think it's a sign that we're alive. We were unwillingly thrust into this world of pain and emotions and betrayal and war so how can none of that affect us? Healing is not gentle so why should our tears be?" It was only then that I felt a drop of water fall on my neck and so I held him tighter, lightly kissing his hair.

I must have fallen asleep at some point while stroking Azriel's hair because I was awakened when he picked me up, shifting my body as he stood.

"Az?" I mumbled.

"Shh." My head rocked back to his chest and my fingers were clutching at the collar of his shirt. His wings flapped open and he stepped off of the roof, gently and expertly flying me to my room, stepping onto the balcony, walking me through the gauzy curtains and carefully laying me on my bed. He even took my shoes off before covering me with the blankets. I was still in Sleep's open hand when I reached up to him as he was trying to leave. I patted his chest and he squeezed my hand once more before placing back on my chest. "Goodnight, Lyra. Thank you."

And then he was shadows and I was asleep.

It was late when I woke up which wasn't surprising with how late I was up.

Azriel.

My feet were bare and I wiggled them as I remembered how reverently Azriel pulled them off. I jump out of bed and change clothes before walking out to the dining hall. All was silent. Mor and Azriel was nowhere to be seen as everyone was eating lunch. Everyone looked up at me, the instigator as I took my seat next to Lucien. I made eye contact with each of them, daring one of them to say something.

Amren did.

"That was not your place, girl." My amber eyes met her silver ones.

"Apparently no one else was going to come to Azriel's aide. You all let this go on for centuries, knowing that he loved her and you watched as she strung him along like he was a dog. You enabled her, never forcing her to either admit her feelings for him or let him go. She couldn't do either. What she did was despicable and unforgivable. He could have found someone else in the centuries she fed him bits and pieces of attention, just enough to keep him following after her. She knew what she was doing. She knew she could never love him and she knew that he loved her with everything in him. Everyone knew that. You call yourselves his friends and yet not one of you intervened."

I held her piercing gaze the entire while, not afraid. I pulled a leg off of a roast turkey and bit into it, the juice running down my chin.

"What good friends you are protecting her from owning her feelings and prolonging his suffering. Can you imagine how foolish he must feel right now?" Bone fragments broke off in my hand as I squeezed the leg too tightly. "Can you imagine how betrayed he must feel? So much so that he didn't come to any of you in his time of need, but he came to me, a stranger he barely knows, and I sang for him, I held him and stroked his hair as his pride kept him from crying." I leaned forward and stared at Amren, no longer as dangerous as she once was, but I was as deadly as I have always been as I felt flames spark in the back of my eyes. "Shame on you. Shame on all of you." I pointed my finger at all of them as I condemned them.

I stood, taking another bite of the turkey leg as I went. I didn't even have shoes on as I walked out of the townhouse, down to where the dancers were practicing again. I watched their footwork and committed it to memory.

I didn't go back when the sun set and the dancers packed up their belongings and parted. I walked into the forest for some privacy and repeated everything I saw the dancers do, messing up several times but each time I started over until I had perfected it.

I was filthy when I returned, sweaty and covered in dirt. "Did you roll in the dirt or just bathe in it?" Nesta commented. I said nothing, just flicked a flame to her book and it set ablaze as I kept walking. She let out a scream and threw the book away from her. Cassian growled at me but I ignored them both as I walked to my room. The bath I took was longer than I anticipated but the hot water felt delightful.

The next few days there was still no sign of Azriel although Mor made her presence known every now and then. This particular night, she was back to having her hair immaculately curled and her dresses were flashy and revealing. I rolled my eyes. Rhysand joined me where I stood.

"You might wanna join the dancers tonight. They're performing. We'll join later." I looked at him, confused as to how he knew where I had been before realizing, of course the shadows themselves report to their High Lord. He gave me a pointed look and I figured he just wanted me out of the house and away from Mor in case I killed her but I went anyway.

The dancers were indeed performing but I realized why Rhysand sent me here the moment I saw him leaning on the railing overlooking the water. I ran my hand over his back so that he knew I was there.

His emotions were muted, more so than usual tonight and the grief was still there but there was the smallest kernel of acceptance. I was surprised, I thought it would take him longer considering he loved her for five centuries.

"You're very strong." I told him.

"I am rather muscular." He muttered and it was so out of character that I laughed and I even saw a ghost of a smile on his mouth. I gently shoved him with my shoulder. The song that the dancers had been practicing started to play and I tugged on his arm.

"Come dance with me."

"I-I don't know."

"I've been practicing this dance. Please?" He looked at me and I made my sappiest face full of overemphasized sadness and he rolled his eyes as he pushed himself off of the railing letting me drag him to the dancefloor.

The people knew who he was as they smiled and waved at him. Their savior.

I moved my body against his and his head snapped to me. The Night Court movements were so different from my court but the sensuality was still there.

"This is where you put your hands on my waist." I said as I splayed my hands on his chest, feeling his entire torso as I shimmied my way down his front. I vaguely saw Rhysand and Feyre leading the entire group to the dance court outside the restaurant and I _felt _Mor's shock and anger causing me to grin widely. He seemed to sense his High Lord too because he goes to turn his head towards him, but I place a finger on his jaw stopping him. "Keep your eyes on me, pretty boy. Let's make her squirm" And he did, his hazel eyes darkening. I pulled slightly away from his chest as all the other dancers did with their partners and then right on the beat, I pressed up against him again, rotating my body so he could feel every curve of my chest. His hands curved up to my shoulders as I shimmied down his body again, my own hands tracing down to his hips.

They were all shocked into stillness so I decided to break apart from the scripted dance moves and incorporate a little of my homeland into this Night Court dance, knowing it would be scandalous even for this court. Their shock could have been felt in Autumn. I placed a leg between Azriel's and undulated my body, basically performing a very skilled and well executed bedroom maneuver in public. His hands were still on my shoulder blades and although his body was in shock, he had not stopped dancing with me. His eyes were wide with what I just done, knowing it was not part of the dance. He went to turn his head again and I once again stopped him, leaning in one last time as the song started to die and licked the entirety of his neck upwards in one swoop, ending with a flick to his jaw. His breathing was heavy as I backed away and I gave him a small smile. I touched his face, my fingertips tracing over his sharp cheekbones, into the valley of his cheeks and then back out to his jaw.

"I can do all the talking." He nodded and we walked over to his High Lord. I felt his eyes flicker to Mor but his rage boiled up and I took his hand.

"Tarquin would not be pleased." Mor commented.

"Tarquin is neither my mate nor my husband but it seems as though you are not pleased or was that anything other than shock and anger you all but threw at me?"

"You are taking advantage of his-"

"His what, Morrigan?" I let go of Azriel's hand, feeling my flames flicker to life at the spark of anger within me. "His grief? His fury? There is no need for you to pretend to protect him now." I bat my eyelashes at her. "Or was your anger at me not dancing with you? I _am _rather beautiful." Her blush heated the entire small area we were standing in.

"Can we talk, Az?" Mor whispered.

"I think you've done enough damage." I hissed, flames slipping past my teeth. I look to Azriel. "The choice is yours."

"Not tonight, Morrigan." His voice was soft but commanding. She flinched but nodded.

I looked to Azriel again silently asking him what he wanted to do next. I could tell he wanted to disappear but he surprised me when he led me to the restaurant, to a table for two. There was a waiter immediately upon us and I flashed him a brilliant smile and he stuttered and flushed with the fluster I put him in as he said he would get our drinks and be back to take our order. I didn't push Azriel to talk and he stared at his hands for a long while and when the waiter returned, I told him to just give us whatever the special was for the evening. He nodded, not lingering after glancing at Azriel whose shadows were concealing his face and torso.

"I can't begin to imagine what it is like speaking to the shadows themselves but considering I can read fire I think I have the closest understanding of any of your friends so understand me when I say that separating your mind from everything else that is screaming out is difficult but the important part to take away from anything I say or anything your friends may say is that none of this is your fault. It is not your fault that you love her. She took advantage of your affections and that is never okay."

He said nothing and when our food came, he mostly picked at it but I pushed him to eat. "What do you do when you want to get away?" He whispered.

"I go hunting, I go in with nothing but my weapons and I build my fort with the available foliage, I kill to survive, I sleep under the stars and fall asleep knowing that I am the only person I need to live." I shrug. "I also pick fights with people physically stronger than me so I can be exhausted when I win. But mostly, I go into the woods to get away, all my firedancers do, when the emotions get to be too much. You forget who you are, you know, when you feel everyone's emotions as if they're your own. So we go into the woods for months at a time to re-evaluate ourselves and to also figure out who we are again." I take his hand. "Is there anything you would like to do to get away?"

"They'll find me. Cassian is especially good at that."

"Not if you're not even in the Night Court." I say before I can stop myself. He raised an eyebrow. "I could take you to Tarquin? I'm overdue for a visit anyway. You helped saved his people, he will gladly take you in." He seemed to consider it. "How about I write to Tarquin tonight and when I get his reply, if he approves, we go away for a few days, however long you'd like." I smile at him. "Think of all that bright open sky that is yours for the taking." He nodded and I squeezed his hand.

When we finished eating, we passed by his friends and made our way to the townhouse with their eyes following after us sadly. He joined me in my room as I wrote the letter and sent it off to Tarquin. I sat by the balcony, feeling the nighttime breeze blow over my body as I pulled my knees to press against my chest.

"Have I ever frightened you? With my fire, I mean." I gently ask him as he was looking at his hands as they were folded together before him.

"In the beginning." He admitted. "But I know you pull away when you feel it rising."

"Do you mind my asking how you were hurt?" I whispered.

"I was an illegitimate son to the Lord of an Illyrian war camp who forbade me to see my mother but once a week and also forbade me to fly. His legitimate sons wanted to see how fast an Illyrian could heal against fire."

My heart ached for him and I couldn't stop the images of young Azriel, unable to defend himself and unable to flee as his half-brothers burned him. I could all too easily picture his hazel eyes wide with fear and his body awkward and gangly.

"If they are not dead they soon will be." I promised.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Of course." We were each trying to look at the other without making eye contact, these questions and our history too personal to be comfortable with such intimate contact.

"Do you love your father?"

I was silent for a while, working over my feelings on the matter. "That is a loaded question. Yes, no, yes. You saw my father on Mabon how open and free he was. My father was not a new High Lord when I was born but he retained some of that joy you saw so my childhood was happy and safe. I like to think that my parents loved each other once and that my father was a good, kind man who had dreams to be an honest High Lord but when he attained the crown, that light in him diminished I think. He has always gifted me with bursts of the male he once was, a smile here, a hug there, sometimes he'll ruffle my hair and kiss my cheek. Mother gets the most of his affections but that doesn't stop him from hitting her. And me too. All of us, really. Eris has always been jealous that father has always smiled more freely at me.

"My father is a terrible male and an even worse High Lord, you have no need to tell me that, but there are moments where I love him so much my heart swells and it seems to break forth from my body in great bursts of light, moments where I am transported back to where I am a small child, sitting on his knee as he smiles and kisses my hair, rocking me back and forth, crowning with me fallen leaves. But then I am transported back to reality with a swift slap to the face. Eris blocks most of father's aggressions, taking most of the punches himself so that mother and I will be spared. He will step in front of our mother and take his hits and yet he is still not mother's favorite child and he is jealous of that too but Lucien holds that title not myself.

"I guess it depends on what day it is on if I love my father or not, but for the most part, yes, yes I do love my father. And I think he loves me too, I do not think he would smile at me if he did not. I think I will be sad when Eris eventually kills him."

"And if the power transfers to you?" He asked, his eyes dark and unreadable.

"Eris will kill me."

"He will not lay a finger on you."

I give him a soft, crooked grin. "I am powerful, I will not be humble about that, but you have not seen Eris, he is powerful as well. It could truly be either of us."

"And if he is crowned?"

"I will beg him to come home."

He cocked his head to the side. "That Court of Foxes is what you truly consider to be your home?"

I looked at him confused. "It is where my girls are, my court and my people and as wicked as they are at least I know I can play the game better. There I can blend into the woods, run with the stag, and have no worries that someone will fear my flames." I looked down at my fingers. "You have every reason to be fearful of my flames but I see the looks of those in this court who see my hair, my coloring and know which court I am from and which element I wield. I see their fear as well as feel it." I let out an emotionless chuckle. "And your friends hate me for what I did, not only for calling Morrigan out on her lies but also for threatening Rhysand. They will not forget my actions though they have already forgiven and forgotten his and hers."

He was quiet for several minutes before he spoke again. "Why dancing?"

"At first, father commanded all of us learn to dance because it gives us innate knowledge about our bodies and how to control them. Fire can easily control you if you let it so we had to learn to control our every movement in order to have control over the flames and not the other way around. But where Eris and the boys quit their lessons, I kept mine going because I loved the freedom it gave me and after I found out I was a Firedancer, it was a way to be with others who understood me and the insanity that follows feeling other's emotions. They understand the breakdowns and the screaming and the self-isolation." I cock my head. "Would like to learn to dance, Azriel?" I said with a coy smile.

He gave me a chuckle and a crooked grin. "I'll leave that to you."

"You should have seen me and my girls perform the War Ballet. It's the most spectacular thing you will ever see."

"Is that so?"

I nod. "Yes. It's the one dance we allow men to join us in because we fight them with swords and fire. And since it's choreographed, we females always come out on top."

"You would even if it wasn't."

"You're probably right." He smiled.

"I usually am." He paused. "What about the singing?"

"Oh, there's no real story to that, my mother just wanted me to be a proficient singer so that I may entertain at royal parties, I just turned out to be rather good at it as I am with most things."

He laughed. "Certainly not humble."

"Certainly." I said with a giant grin. "What is like to fly?" I ask.

"It is the single most perfect thing in my life." He stated. "To be in the clouds, overlooking our people, to see the horizon and the curvature of the planet is the most divine thing I think could ever exist."

"That was beautiful."

He stood and moved closer to me, to sit on the chair directly across from me and his crossed leg brushed up against mine.

"No, but you are."

I could feel the blush heating my cheeks. "I am no rebound." I whisper.

"I'm not saying you are." He swallowed. "You have done more for me these past few weeks than my friends have. Cassian has tried to reach out but it seems I couldn't explain everything to anyone other than you."

"You're friends love you they just have their priorities a tad out of line."

"I get it though, she's royal. If anything happened to Rhysand, she is next in line so her safety, both physical and emotional, comes first to them I think. I'm just a low-born, Illyrian, Lesser Fae."

I grabbed his hand. "You are no such thing. You are more of a kind, good male than anyone I have ever had the honor to meet." A blush tinted his golden cheeks. "You're beautiful, too, Azriel." I whispered.

We parted for the night shortly afterwards and in the morning, I received a letter from Tarquin giving us his blessing to come visit. Azriel and I were off before the sun had fully crested the horizon.

**I love these books and this story so much (I honestly love it even more than TOG), and Mor as a character is interesting and important, but I honestly cannot stand how she strings Azriel along and how everyone else is aware of what she is doing but refuses to intervene, so I'm fixing that lol. **

**Thank you for reading, and as always any constructive criticism is welcome! **

**Have a good weekend!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Good Afternoon, my lovelies!**

**Another chapter this week!**

**Once again, I do not own any of the characters written by the Queen Sarah J Maas but my girl Lyra is all my own, as is the new character you will meet in this chapter.**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Chapter 6**

The Summer Court was beautiful as always, especially with the sun reflecting off of the water and its High Lord was just as resplendent in a tunic of royal blue with gold embellishment, his white hair tied back from his striking face. I had forgotten how handsome he was, his warm caramel skin almost gold in the early morning light. My heart skipped a beat as we neared him.

"You are as lovely as ever, fair Lyra." Tarquin stated as he kissed both of my cheeks. He shook Azriel's hand. "You said you and he needed to get away for a while. Is there trouble in the Night Court?"

"Just drama." I assured him.

He chuckled. "I can imagine life with Rhysand is never dull."

"It can get too much at times." I swept my hand over his realm. "And what better paradise to retreat to?" He bowed his head in thanks.

"Come, I'll show you to your rooms." He showed us to a pair of adjoined rooms overlooking the ocean and I nearly sighed in contentment.

"Thank you, Tarquin." I said resting a hand on his bicep which was as deliciously strong and firm as I remembered but I yanked my hand back as soon as I touched him. Azriel bristled and reached for a weapon. Touch has always amplified my gifts but as I took a deep inhale I couldn't believe I didn't smell it on him the moment we landed in his court. "You're mated." I state.

He looked at me apologetically. "Yes. It happened not long after you left the last time."

"Who is she?"

"She was a solider in the war who became a castle guard once peace was established. One look was all it took. I'm sorry."

So was I, but that is not what I said, not with Azriel's all-seeing gaze on my face. "Sorry? Sorry for what?" I whispered. "You found your mate, I wish you many blessings."

He smiled at me sadly but I could both feel and see the love radiating from him. "Thank you." He backed away from us. "I will leave you two alone to get settled in. Stay as long as you'd like, really."

"Are you alright?" Azriel asked as soon as the door was shut and Tarquin was out of hearing range.

"Yes. I think I have known for a while that Tarquin wasn't the one for me, he was just the best solution to my problem but now I am free of that problem. Tarquin deserves all the love in the world."

"You were starting to have feelings for him though." He stated.

"The process was not completed." He was silent for a while, not knowing what to say. "Will you take me flying?" His eyebrows shot up.

"Flying?"

"Yes, I enjoyed it the one time Rhysand took me and I believe I would like to experience it again."

"If you're sure." He sounded hesitant but we walked outside and he flexed his wings. He seemed a tad awkward as he opened his arms for me to step close to him. I hugged my body close to his, making sure I had a good hold on him and he did the same and then he flexed his legs and we were off. I squealed with the speed of the takeoff and his warm chuckle heated my ear.

He went higher and higher until we could see all of Adriata, we were soaring through the clouds and it was the most serene and beautiful experience in the world.

"What do you think?" He asked me.

"This is perfect." I leaned my head on his shoulder as we continued to fly until the sun was high overhead and we decided to land to get some food.

We ate at the street markets and while the people tried to get glimpses of Azriel's wings and were generally confused by his presence, they saw that we were paying handsomely for their food so they dismissed any negative thought in their head. And Azriel is never anything other than perfectly polite.

At one point a dark skinned little girl whose curiosity got the better of her, trotted over to us and her wide, dark eyes took in everything innately masculine and intimidating that is Azriel.

"Why do you have wings like a bird?" She asked.

A woman I took to be her mother rushed over and made as if she were going to pull her away, an apology already on her lips but Azriel held up his hand that it was okay and he knelt down to the girl so he could be eye level with her. All of his shadows were gone from his face, in fact they had been gone since we arrived and it was miraculously wonderful to see his immaculate face.

"Because I am an Illyrian and Illyrians have wings like a bat." He explained. He adjusted his body and one of his wings folded over the front of his body for the little girl to examine.

"Are they real?" She asked.

He chuckled showing off his sparkling teeth. "Yes, they're real."

"So you can fly?" He nodded. "I think I should like to fly." She said, sounding very certain. Her mother, on the other hand, did not look it.

"I think you would be very good at it." She grinned at him and he smiled back at her before she took her mother's hand and walked away, waving at Azriel as she went.

We walked in silence along the beach, Azriel insisting on holding my shoes as well as his own. It was getting later and I knew Tarquin would want to do dinner together and possibly with his new mate.

But in the meantime, I was holding on to Azriel's arm as I rested my head on his shoulder. "Thank you for coming." I said.

"Thank you for inviting me, although I guess we should be thanking Tarquin for letting us come."

"If he said no, I was going to ask Kallias."

He pretended to shiver. "Too cold." I smiled and looked up at him just as he looked down to me. His face was mid-smile and I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Light music started playing just off the pier and it was all bells and chimes and light pealing of an instrument I had never heard of but whatever it was and whatever song was playing it was enchanting and magical and it made my heart swell with emotion as I stood here with this male I had come to know much about and care for very deeply.

"I am very glad to have known you, Azriel." I whispered. He reached forward and tucked a stray curl out of my face and behind my ear, his calloused fingertips brushing against my cheekbones.

"Likewise, Lyra." I pressed further into his body and I could feel his heart beat steady but perhaps faster than normal.

Our faces moved infinitesimally closer together but we were pushed apart when a royal guard began jogging to us.

"The High Lord would like you to join him for dinner, Princess."

"Lyra will do just nicely, thank you." I told him, bristling at my title known even here to these strangers.

Azriel stepped away from me and kept a respectful distance as we walked back to the castle.

Had I really been about to kiss Azriel?

The dining hall was grand and gilded but nothing near as extravagant as Autumn's dining hall. There was a rather plain looking woman seated next to Tarquin and I took her to be his mate. Her hair was a tad bit more silver than his and she had it braided down her back but Tarquin looked at her as if the sun rose and set at her command. They stood to greet us and the more I looked at her the more quietly beautiful she became. She wasn't as striking as Morrigan or Nesta but she had a timelessness to her that I appreciated.

We sat across from them and I sipped at my wine as servants fed us. Azriel, it seems, was uncomfortable being treated as a High Fae as they fretted over him. I fluffed out a napkin and placed it in my lap and Azriel took hints from me as he did the same.

"I hear your Beron's daughter." The woman said.

"Yes, his only."

She quickly looked to Tarquin before she spoke again. "Tarquin told me that you were the one that set off that large fire during the war, the one that killed thousands of Hybern's soldiers."

I knew she was trying to be polite and start conversation but I didn't like remembering the war, on the other hand though, my pride was large enough that I had to correct her.

"I was the fire." I stated. Her cerulean eyes widened.

"Wow—I had-Wow, I'm sorry."

I bunched my eyebrows together. "For what?"

Her eyes looked greatly saddened as she looked to Tarquin for a long second before meeting my eyes once more. "For carrying that much power inside."

I felt Azriel's sideways glance at me more than I saw it.

"I saved lives that day; that is all I care about, the glory I give my brothers." I took a bite of the fish that had been prepared. "They desire it more than I." I felt that she was going to say something else but I felt her emotions shock to a stop so I knew Tarquin took her hand under the table to let her know I had had enough talk of that war.

"So what all did you two do today?" Tarquin asked.

"Azriel took me flying and then we landed for a light lunch and then a walk on the beach."

"That sounds lovely."

"It was." I answered truthfully. "I know I've said it before, but your Court is dazzling, Tarquin." He smiled in thanks. "I must ask though, is your waters safe? I know the wraiths are territorial and I thought I may want to take a swim."

"Plenty of people swim in those waters, they will not harm you. I will have the staff place out a bathing suit for you."

"Thank you, Tarquin."

"Does water bother you, though, I have always wanted to ask, what with your powers and all."

"I am, for the most part, unable to spark a flame under water so I understand your concern, but I was trained quite thoroughly so I can protect myself in the water if need be."

He gave a sad, understanding nod. "I can imagine."

Dinner passed uneventfully after that and I had just gotten dressed for bed when Azriel knocked on the door connecting our rooms. A glance at the door had it opening and he stepped in.

"What did you mean at dinner when you said 'for the most part' you are unable to use your flames underwater?"

"The blue fire is hot enough to penetrate water if I really need it to be, but it takes up a lot of my energy. Father never really approved of us being in big pools of water for this exact reason; we cannot access our fire in the water, but we needed to learn offense and defense in every arena so he mandated that we all be taught water combat."

"What a real piece of work." He mumbled under his breath. I said nothing as I sat on my bed and curled my feet underneath me. He was still fully dressed but he had rolled his sleeves up and I got a close glimpse of how far up his scars went. I reached out and while he jerked with surprise when I touched him, he did not back away as I traced the mottled skin. I could feel his shame and embarrassment roll through him so I brought his palm to my mouth and I reverently kissed the center of it. "Why have you been so kind to me?" He whispered, his voice no louder than the wind outside the castle.

"Because I understand what is like to live in the shadows of others' existence." I shrugged as I continued to hold his hand. "And because I care about you."

"Why?" His voice was a little louder this time, more demanding.

"I don't exactly know why but my soul has touched yours and found a friend." I paused, letting him work through that. "You were very kind to that young girl today."

He gave me a soft smile. "Children rarely come up to me, to any of us really."

"I was rather put out that she didn't comment on me at all. I usually get all sorts of comments from children about how pretty I am." I said giving myself a false air of self-importance so that he would know I was joking.

He smiled softly. "Are you sure you're okay with Tarquin having a mate?" He asked.

"Do I have any choice but to be? What I felt for him wasn't love, I've known that for a while now, it was gratitude and desire to be safe. I don't have to worry about that now and I am free to love who I will because of it."

"You haven't asked your father to go back to Autumn." He stated.

"Yes, well, in his views I will always belong to Rhysand so while he may accept a visit from me, he will not let me return to stay." I cross my arms over my chest. "I want to go home but there really isn't anything for me there. I have no friends besides my court ladies and even then the friendship is skin deep and vapid at best and my dancers always kept their distance because of my status, afraid to get too close since so few of them had titles of their own. I have only ever had Eris and Lucien for that short while."

He said nothing and eventually returned to his room.

I tried to sleep, I truly did but sleep did not come to me. The sounds of the waves were too unfamiliar. So I decided to meet them.

**Tarquin is mated now? Whaaaaaat? **

**Sound off in the comments and tell me what you think!**

**Thank you for reading and I'll see you next week!**


	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING: This chapter does contain some lemons so if you're not comfortable with that, scroll down a ways and you should be safe. **

**Welcome back! This chapter is a bit long as I found it hard to find a good place to stop. **

**As always I do not own any characters from the original ACOTAR series but any other characters that are not from the book are my own, such as Lyra, Aqura, and Cian (who we meet in this chapter). Please enjoy!**

**Chapter 7 **

There was no one outside besides the night guards but I doubt even their vision could see me as I slowly made my way to the water, discarding my nightgown as I went. My toes touched the water and I could feel Tarquin being alerted to my being here. But he was most likely too busy with his mate to care.

The full moon illuminated more of my body than I really cared for it to but I had no qualms with my body, I have learned to love every scar and curve. I ran my fingertips over the top of the water, skimming and making random shapes as I made my way deeper.

I had waded out into the water a bit and was enjoying the silence when I heard Azriel's footsteps on the sand. I was wondering when he would join me. I kept my back to him, my hands palm down on the surface of the water as he made his way to me.

"Why did you take off your nightgown?" He asked.

"It would get in the way."

"Of what?" I looked over my shoulder at him and even though his tan body gleamed in the moonlight, I was certain he was still wearing his undershorts in the water.

"Of feeling." I whispered. "I don't want there to be any layers between us when I finally take you, Azriel." I felt his shock but more than that, I felt his lust. I turn to him and he remained respectful as he held my gaze instead of trailing downwards. I smile as I step closer and run my fingers over his shoulder and down his bicep. "Tarquin knows of everything that goes on in these waters, so be careful, Azriel, we wouldn't want him to be jealous. I heard rumors that you have the longest wingspan amongst your group." His blush was noticeable even in the darkness. "Why did you come out here tonight?"

"I can't seem to stop myself." He whispered.

"Then don't."

He gave me no warning as he gripped my face and kissed me, his mouth soft but he was pressing hard. My heart of fire melted, melted as he kissed me. I opened up for him and he kissed me in such a way that I knew exactly what he would do with that mouth further south. I pressed closer to him, my breasts pushing against his hard chest. I couldn't stop my hands from wandering, touching his back, his stomach, feeling up his sides and across the top bones of his wings. His body shuddered and he released such a beautiful sound into my mouth that my body heated and the water started to steam.

He parted to breathe but he kissed his way down my neck, sucking and pulling on my skin with his teeth making my toes curl. "Let me know if I get too hot." He nodded against my skin and then he was kissing me again, his hands finally meandering down my torso, brushing over my breasts but not stopping to admire them as his broad hands swept down my back in one movement, lifting me up by my ass up so I would wrap my legs around his waist.

"I am not fucking you in the ocean." _Where Tarquin could witness everything I plan on doing to you_. He took us to my room and laid me down on the bed, not caring that we were dripping wet. He hovered over me, his wings unfurled from his body as he kissed me deeply just once before he made his tour down my body. I growled and arched my body when he made a stop at my breast, his teeth pulling at my nipple. I scratched down his back in response and he seemed to purr. He showed the other breast the same treatment before moving even further south. He gave me one dark look, his face all lust and seriousness as he spread my legs even further to devour me.

I snarled so loud a vase shook as he licked the entire length of me before lovingly devoting his time to my sensitive bundle of nerves, his fingers circling my entrance while his other hand held my hips down. I forgot my name as he continued his ministrations, his fingers finally dipping into me, moving in and out slowly.

I whimpered, fucking whimpered as my release shattered me but he didn't stop, forcing me to a second release not long after the first. I released my grip on his hair, not realizing my hand had even ventured down to him.

He ran his mouth over my body as he crawled back on top of me but I rose on my knees, pressing hard against him, snarling as I ripped his undershorts off. I nipped at his neck, my hands memorizing every ripple and muscle on his stomach just before I firmly gripped him. He let out a snarl of his own at the touch and bit down a little too hard on my shoulder but I moaned and arched my back at the slight pain.

I kissed him and it was not gentle, teeth scraping, tongues battling, a frenzy of pent up emotions and lust. My free hand was around his back, my hand in his hair while my other hand stroked him up and down with precise strength.

His hands roamed down my arms and gently pushed so that I lay down on my back under him. He settled between my legs and I felt him brush against me and I hissed. I bared my teeth at him, more animal than Fae at the moment and his dark eyes answered my call as he slowly slid into me. I made a sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper and when he found his rhythm he kissed me, his tongue mimicking what his lower half was doing. We parted for air and I bit down on his shoulder, pulling his skin between my teeth and he hissed.

I was close, already so close but I knew I wouldn't be done with him for a long time. I moved my hips with him, flexing my inner muscles and it was his turn to hiss this time. He gripped my hips and moved them harder against him and he took one nip on a nipple and I was done, shouting his name. I kept my flames in check as I ran my fingers over his wings and his entire body shuddered against mine as he found his release.

He didn't remove himself from me as we laid there sloppily kissing, our bodies satiated. I stretched against him and he pulled back to watch my body, his hand sweeping across my body in one movement, a very male act. I felt him harden inside me in reaction and I held him closer to me in reaction, moving my hips, ready for round two.

We had several rounds that night. We moved to his bed at one point since mine was soaking wet from the ocean and fell asleep for a few hours but I happened to wake up to turn over and his naked, sleeping body was next to mine, his usually stern face relaxed and his mouth slightly open as his chest rose and fell with his breaths. The sheets barely concealed his glorious form. I moved and his arms immediately moved to keep me by him even in sleep, but I moved his hands away as I made my way down his body, my mouth tasting him. He woke up rather slow but I watched as his back arched and I swore it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. His hands found my hair and twisted in it. And then his release came and I swallowed around him and a strangled noise came out of his beautiful, sinful mouth.

When I removed my mouth from him, he pounced, pulling me back to bed and showed me how grateful he was for the wakeup.

And then the sun was rising and I was sprawled out on his chest, drawing random spirals over his incredibly taunt chest. My flames purred at the rising sun and I leaned my face into the few rays that entered the room. I felt Azriel's fingers trace my jaw.

"You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He whispered. I felt the blush burning high on my cheekbones and I opened my eyes to his face seeming reverent and peaceful as he gazed at me.

"I was just thinking the same thing about you." He gave me a small smile as he twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. "I didn't hurt you did I?" He shook his head.

"Did I?" I shook my head. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to the center of his chest. We could hear a couple servants clean out my room and we had to suppress our laughs as they were amazed by all the damage we did in our lust.

We waited until they were gone to get dressed for the day although Azriel did sent a shadow to flick my ass as I walked out of the room and he laughed as I squealed. I put on a grey tunic with matching pants and I was doing up my boots when Azriel walked in. He was dressed in all black as usual. He leaned against the doorway as I pulled up my hair, his eyes on my neck and the many marks he left on it.

"Later." I purred as I noticed his dilated pupils. He gave me a wicked grin and we walked hand in hand to breakfast which Tarquin was fast to notice but he made no comment on it all throughout breakfast.

The next few days were much the same, Azriel flying me through the skies, trying new foods by the docks, and making love as much as we could. We were giggling messes, always trying to steal kisses and brief touches. He made my heart swell with joy and that is something I hadn't felt in so long, if ever.

But of course, our paradise couldn't last long.

A week in to our vacation, a guard came in to the dining hall during breakfast, right as Tarquin's mate, Aqura, was telling a story about Tarquin and how they were interrupted during one of their first matings and instead of being a roaring mess like most males are, he turned bright red and begged their intruder, his cousin Varian, to leave, when a guard came in with an orange envelope on a silver platter.

I immediately stopped laughing.

Tarquin opened the letter and was silent as he read it. Azriel's hand was warm and strong in mine as I spoke. "What did my father say?"

"He knows you are here and he wants you to stop by Autumn and see him. Today."

I kept my face the picture of calm and serene but I was screaming on the inside. "I will need a new outfit." I announce. "One scandalous enough to embarrass my father." Aqura nodded. "He has counsel at noon today, let's interrupt it."

I left the breakfast table and I felt Azriel follow shortly after. We said nothing to each other for a long while until a guard brought by the dress Aqura lent me and I started to undress.

"I am coming with you." He stated. I just nodded. The gold of the dress reminded me of the night Rhysand bought me but shoved that to the back of my mind as Azriel buttoned me in. I slipped on the matching shoes and we walked out into the hallway.

"I will have guards send your stuff back to the Night Court." Tarquin offered.

"Thank you and thank you for your hospitality this week, it has been the best in my life." I gripped his hands and kissed the back of them in gratitude.

"Summer will always welcome you." I stroked his cheek and wondered for the last time what a life with him would have been like and I bade him goodbye as I took my hand back and placed it in Azriel's before winnowing to Autumn just outside the castle.

I took in a deep breath and felt the achingly familiar brisk air fill my lungs. My heart ached at the red, orange, and gold leaves forever in a state of falling, decay, and rebirth. The Forest House was made out of thousand year old trees, their roots still connecting the upper levels to the ground floor and the stained glass windows were nearly as ancient. I could hear the waterfall in the distance and I closed my eyes for a second as I took in all the sounds and smells and my body felt right at home. Home. I was home.

I ran my hand down Azriel's arm and he looked at me in concern but the look was gone as soon as I saw it. We made the final steps to the front door, Azriel just a step behind me. Half a thought and the front doors were swinging open and he followed me as I made my way to the counsel room. I saw one of my younger brothers on the way there and he gave me a wide eyed look before running off to tell Eris, no doubt.

I broke down my father's shields over the rooms as if it were nothing and then I was barreling into the room. I saw several familiar faces, some of whom were there to bid on me that fateful night and they shrank back at my accusatory glare. When I finally dragged my eyes to my father, he was red with fury.

"Out." He whispered and one by one his councilmen left. "That goes for the overgrown bat, as well." He hissed as he pushed himself off of his desk, taking the two steps to bring him in front of me but I did not cower as I rose my head to look up at him.

"He stays."

"I am your High Lord and I say he goes."

I bared my teeth at him. "You stopped being my High Lord the moment you put me up for auction." His fingers twitched but I knew he would not strike me with Azriel present.

"You think I am cruel for following tradition?" He hissed.

"Yes, for that and a thousand other reasons." I growled.

He did not break my glare as he spoke again. "Send Rhysand's bastard bat out of this room or I will do it for you." I saw movement and I didn't have to move to know it was Eris. He quietly stepped into the room.

"Perhaps this can be settled after lunch." He said, his voice soft, not wanting to upset father further.

My father turned on him with a snarl. "Go be a kissass somewhere else!"

Eris swallowed. "I am not leaving."

Father gave him a glare that I had never seen the intensity of before but Eris still stood his ground. Giving up, father turned that fearsome stare onto me.

"You are to come home. Rhysand has explained the situation and that little bastard wormed his way into the minds of _my _people as if I wouldn't notice so you are to come home and since your dues have been paid, I will not hold another Selection but you _are_ to marry a respectable Autumn High Fae and stop wasting your genetics on this bastard of a male." He said gesturing to Azriel. How he knew about our relationship, I didn't know but I wouldn't let any surprise show on my face. I would not show weakness.

"You lost any right to tell me what to do the moment you told me you wanted to sell me like cattle. You have no right to tell me who and I can and cannot breed with." I stated, my voice low and dangerous.

"You are still my daughter." He hissed.

"As if that has ever mattered to you." His eyes simmered with rage at the insult. "Where was that sentiment when I was barely thirteen and you hit me for the first time because I was late for dinner because of dance practice, or the time you backhanded me not long after that because my flames burned brighter than Eris's? Where was that sentiment when I was greeting my brother after the war, the brother whose love you murdered, and you hit me for still loving him? Where was that sentiment when we were Under the Mountain and you stepped out of line because your ego was wounded and I suffered your consequences?" I was breathing heavy with fury and even my father could tell I was near the tipping point so I decided to break him before he could do the same to me. "As if you care so much for your children. Or your wife, who despises you for sending away her favorite son, the son she bore her true love—the High Lord of Day." He did not hold back his hand this time as he backhanded me across the face but my feet did not stumble. Azriel had Truth-teller in his hands and Eris's hands were engulfed in flames in response. I chuckled as I tasted the blood coating my teeth.

"And I thought the majority of your anger stemmed from the fact that you don't know for sure if you're going to have a male heir since my power is so strong, but it's actually because you're impotent and can't satisfy your wife any longer." Another slap but still I grinned. "I didn't know for sure about Lucien until I met Helion after the war but he smelled like Lucien so I asked mother to tell me the truth and she did. I never knew; Lucien had flames for his element so mother's genetics hold strong at least. That's why you couldn't kill Lucien, not only because it would look terribly awful if a High Lord murdered his son but because Lucien is the sole heir of the Day Court and if you were found out you would be killed. I imagine Helion would not take kindly to you killing his only child and heir." I wiped away a trickle of blood stemming from the skin that had cracked open on my cheek from his latest blow. "I wonder how long it will take mother to mourn you before crawling back to Helion. I wager, barely a week." His lips were raised and he was snarling but he didn't get to hit me a third time, instead his blow landed on Eris who stepped in front of me.

I was cradling Eris's bleeding face to my chest when I spoke again. "And yet you wonder why this place is no longer my home, not while you are its leader. So no, I will not be marrying an Autumn male of your choosing to have pure-blooded grandchildren for you to abuse. No, I will marry and fuck who I please."

"Your people will never accept that bat as your husband." He snarled, trying to get one last verbal jab in.

"Then they will not be my people." I whisper as I walk with Eris out of the room. "I will be here for two more days if you have anything more intelligent to say to me, father." We were all silent as we walk deeper into the Forest House for the Healer's Chambers.

The Healer on duty, Cian, looked surprised to see me walk in but he cleared off his table nonetheless. He was a young healer, compared to the others, but he was a rare male healer who showed much talent, so much so that my father ordered that he remain at the permanent residence of the High Lord.

Eris insisted that I go first. Cian didn't ask what or who had injured us; it was no secret that the Autumn Lord had quite a temper.

"Are the others with mother?" I asked my brother, wincing when Cian's magic touched my open wounds.

"Yes."

"It won't deter him but it makes me feel better knowing that they are with her."

I finally made myself look at Azriel and his eyes were dark and unreadable but his emotions were thrumming with fury. I gave him a small smile to show him I was okay. His eyes raked over my body, to the healing cuts, and then to the male healing me. Cian, is dreadfully attractive, so I could see why he might be jealous, but I felt nothing romantic towards Cian even though I have always been fond of him and his shyness.

I took Azriel's hand when Cian announced that my face was healed and then began to work on Eris. His fingers minutely trembled as he touched my brother's face.

"Why did you get him worked up, sister?" Eris asked, his bronze eyes ablaze.

"I am not his any longer and I will not be bred like some prize mare."

"You embarrassed him by intruding on his meeting, he will retaliate."

"He can try." I hissed with so much emotion behind it that Cian jerked back but Eris's hand kept him steady. Eris gave me a furious glare but I hissed at him and threw my hand down to the ground, my flames kissing the stone floor. "I do not need to explain myself to you."

He waved his hand between me and Azriel. "So _this _is what you are fighting for?"

"For my freedom and ability to choose whom I may love, yes. I do not expect you to understand. Any female you choose will be acceptable as long as she is High Fae but I have to have a stallion ready to breed."

"The more worked up you are, the more he wins, Lyra." He reminded me.

I sighed and my flames turned to embers in my veins. I took Azriel's hand. "Come, I will change and show you around." I left my brother in the capable hands of the healer, and I marked that Eris was still holding onto Cian's forearm.

I took Azriel into the heart of the fortress, noting the face of every servant I passed who saw us and would report back to my father.

Once inside my bedroom, I walked into my closet and began to change into a grey and silver tunic with matching pants. I had just done up my boots and was braiding my hair when I walked out and Azriel spoke.

"I almost killed him." He murmured.

"Eris would be jealous if you took that from him." Shadows were raging around his face and body and I stepped into his personal space to hold him. "I am not hurt, I am not upset, father will not see me until the very last moment before I am to leave, I am sure of it." I got on the tips of my toes and kissed him. "You showed me your home, allow me to show you mine." He gave me the barest of nods, his eyes still dark with anger but he allowed me to lead him back outside. To get to the ground, I had to lead him over the thick roots that lifted the upper levels off of the ground. Azriel was graceful by nature so he had no trouble keeping up on the uneven terrain but even he wobbled a few times as I led him through the trees, laughing as he chased me. The roots were so worn with age that all I had to do was slide down them to get to the ground, my feet automatically falling into the right position to ensure a smooth landing. Azriel, who saw and memorized everything I did, landed almost perfectly having stumbled just a tad after his feet found solid ground.

I wanted to tease him. Here he was, in Autumn, with me, and I wanted to show him everything. So I ran. I traipsed through the forest my body flying through the trees like a doe, my feet barely making a sound on the fallen leaves. We ran for miles and my laugh echoed throughout the ancient woods. We eventually reached my favorite waterfall, whose water fell from a cliff that jutted out several yards from the rest of the mountain. By the time the water hit the lake, it was foamed and white and when the light hit the falling water just right, a rainbow would erupt forth.

We stopped to admire the view and Azriel's calloused hand found mine. We didn't stay for long though, because I had temples to show him, stone structures full of history and magic. And then I took him to the Rock of Lords, a large flat rock where every High Lord has been initiated through a performance made of fire.

"Every High Lord, once they have obtained the power, must perform the Rite. My father has done it, his father, and his father all the way back to the Creation of Prythian and the settlement of this court. I'm sure Eris is perfecting it as we speak."

"Do you know it?"

"Yes, all the children of the Autumn High Lord must know it but the weaker ones who know that they will never be High Lord as long as their siblings are alive allow themselves to forget it, but every year, a teacher goes over it again with me to make sure I do not forget. Eris does the same." I step forward, my foot touching the rock. "They wear the most fantastic clothing, all bright reds and golds and gold paint arched across your skin in rays of suns and fires and afterwards you are officially crowned and the new High Lord sends a wave of blue fire over his entire realm to signify a new era of prosperity and health." Azriel gives me a look of sentimentality and hope.

"How do you know what they look like?"

"My father performed it for us when we were young."

"Can you perform it for me?"

I gave him a sly look and he gave me a small bow, waving his arm before him, encouraging me to dance for him.

I wrung my hands. "I-I don't know if I should. This is a sacred sight and I am not High Lady."

He gave me a small smile. "I understand."

I turn to look at the rock, memories of my father performing the dance for us replaying in my mind, his fire bright and hot as he spun and stomped. I remember thinking the earth rotated at his command and when he stomped the ground, fire sparking in every direction, that he was the most powerful thing I had ever experienced at my young age. I was mesmerized by the dance and by my father, at the harshness and the beauty contained in him.

"We are the reason the humans fear to dance with the Faeries. When we kept humans here, we would bid them to dance and dance until their feet tore to ribbons and they fell to the ground only to die. I was terribly young then, barely a young girl. The war was a year away but I danced with these humans for days until the music would stop and their bodies were coating the ground, my feet stained with their blood. I didn't need alcohol to take me to another plane of existence, I had dancing and I was quite good at it, even at that age and I had the humans, who were dying from blood loss, urge me to keep dancing even as they urged me to let them stop or to let them keep going, then to stop, then to continue. The music is enchanting, and the Faeries dancing to it even more so. But only the High Lord can allow them to stop and he never did. They were the entertainment, after all.

"I remember weaving flowers and leaves into my hair, getting ready all morning with mother just to dance the day, sometimes even the week away. I was young but I should have known that what my father was allowing was wrong, but the humans were so warm and so fragile and I was curious and strong, growing into my powers more and more as my bleeding came. I want time to be like that again. Not about the humans dying at my feet part, but the dancing and the happiness and the innocence. I want that again. I know Autumn is about decay and change and Spring, our counterpart, is about rebirth and innocence, but I swear that there is nothing more innocent than dancing for days on end with just the music pounding in your veins keeping you rooted to the ground."

"It will be like that again, one day."

"I hope my brother will be a good leader. I think he will."

He said nothing and I knew what thoughts he held about my brother but he took my hand anyway and pulled me into an embrace. The sun was setting now and he pulled back a little to look at me, at the sun's red glow framing my hair, making it look like it was living flames.

"Cauldron, you're beautiful."

I blushed and his fingers traced lightly on my cheekbones as I tangled my fingers into the hair at the base of his neck and pulled him down to kiss me.

Kissing Azriel in Autumn was like the water from the waterfall finding their place amongst the lake beneath, settling and swaying in perfect harmony. We were two ancient oak trees whose roots had intertwined and leaves brushed against each other in gentle remembrance.

Is this what love felt like?

I pulled away from him with a light gasp, my lips still swollen from his kiss. I touched his face, wanting direct contact with him before I searched his emotions. And right there. Right there. A kernel of light so bright it blinded me.

"I think I love you, Azriel." I watched his face for any minute negative change but his face remained the same as I felt that kernel grow and grow until I thought it would combust. I think he was at a loss for words because he just kissed me again and I took that for answer enough as I threw myself into the kiss, my arms around his neck and a soft moan in the back of my throat.

He hugged me to his body, his large hands splayed out on my back. He kissed his way down my neck, nipping occasionally and I groaned as I pulled on his hair. "So I guess this settles which room you'll be staying in tonight?" I asked. He growled against my neck and I squealed as I laughed. He picked me up and spun me around and I threw my head back as I laughed with utter and complete joy. When he set me back down, he kissed me one more time before speaking.

"I love you. I think I've loved you ever since I saw you on the battlefield that day."

"And I saved your ass?" I asked with a giggle. He smiled and playfully swatted me. I leaned against him, his arm holding me to his waist but I leaned back so I could look at him, my hand on his neck, rubbing at the soft skin there. "I can't believe I'm going to be fucking my new boyfriend under the same roof as my father and brothers." He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not waiting until we get back to the Night Court to fuck you again." He smirked as he growled.

We slowly made our way back to the Forest House. We got food at some of the small villages we passed through sampling roasted pork, pecan tarts, and apple pastries. We didn't speak about how we would not be welcome at family dinner together.

**Thank you for reading! **

**As always your lovely comments are always welcome! **

**I have loved reading the comments, it makes me so incredibly happy that you are enjoying my story and my writing style. **

**This is me sounding off until next week! See all you beautiful souls then!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome back!**

**As always, any characters you recognize from the ACOTAR series are owned by the majestic Sarah J Maas!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Chapter 8 **

Mother was outside when we reached the castle again. Her thick auburn hair pulled to one side of her head, her angular and petite face warmed when she saw me coming.

"Lyra." She breathed. She was dressed in all her finery, obviously not out here to garden. She wanted this conversation to be private. Azriel and I both bow our heads to her but she took my hands in hers stopping me. "Your father is quite angry with you."

"When is he not?"

"Still, I do not know when you will be home next and I would like to see my only daughter before she leaves me."

"I would come back to see you more often if father was not how he is." She gave me a sad smile and nod. "But perhaps, when Eris is High Lord, we can be a family again." I chose my words carefully, knowing that if I let her know Eris's plans that she would tell father. Every High Lord has an end either by jealousy or war. "It will be a long ways away but we have been gifted with long life."

"You shouldn't wish for your father to die, Lyra."

"And I do not, I just wish every day could be as peaceful as Mabon." Her face that had hardened with anger was softening into understanding. I lowered my voice when I spoke next. "I know he hits you, mother." She glanced quickly to Azriel before looking back at me. "He hits me too." I stated.

"I know he does. I cannot stop it, although I try." I squeeze her hands.

"I know you do." I pause. "Does Helion know about Lucien?" I asked. She blushed and jerked her hands back from me as she smoothed out her dress in nervousness while glancing all around her looking for father's spies.

"No." She hissed. "And this is not the place."

"This entire Court is not the place, mother. I won't keep this knowledge from Lucien. I will not keep him in the shadows."

"He does not need to know, it puts him in danger."

"He needs to learn, Helion needs to teach him." I insisted.

"This is a time of peace, daughter, there is no rush."

"All the more time for him to learn."

She studied my face for the longest time. "You look so much like him." I blushed. "I see it every time you are angry or in thought or insistent. You possess his much more passionate emotions. All the boys are quieter, they have always known when to hold their tongue, but never you. That is why he quarrels with you so; he sees himself in you and he sometimes doesn't like what he finds."

"So every slap is an assault upon himself?" I asked, venom in my words. She said nothing as she gestured to Azriel, removing her hands from mine.

"So this is who you have chosen?"

We both look at him and Azriel seems to straighten his already perfectly vertical spine at the attention. He did not back away and he did not show fear, he wanted my mother to like him but it was not important. My mother gave him a once over, taking in his tall, muscular form, her eyes lingering on the wings protruding from his back and then on the round ears on either side of his head. As if the ears, which did not have the point that all High Fae held, disgusted her more than the wings, as if they showed his lesser-ness more blatantly. He did not blush at her blatant perhaps vague dismissiveness of them as the corner of her mouth turned down in disappointment.

"You have a very real possibility of becoming the next ruler of his land, be careful of whom you mate with." My mother warned.

"First of all, do not let father know you think that of my potential. Secondly, only I choose who I marry, no one else. I choose him, mother, for as long as Azriel will have me, I will have him in return."

"He is not High Fae."

"That has never mattered to me."

"Your children—"

"My children will be loved and cared for and they will never know a parent who abuses them like your children have known." I hissed causing her to raise her lips above her teeth in a silent snarl, smoke exhaling from her mouth but I held my stance daring her to make the first move.

And she probably would have made a move against the verbal attack on her honor I made if there hadn't of been a rustle in the woods. A guard, one of father's spies no doubt. Mother's face transformed back into the one of tranquil peace that she has honed to perfection though years of being a pretty figurine by my father's side.

She gave me a pretty little smile and reached forward to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "Be careful, my daughter, of the choices you make."

"I would advise the same to you, Lady of Autumn." I gave her a low curtsy before standing again and taking Azriel's hand but she was not done stabbing my heart.

"Your children are not just for you, they are for your people. Remember that."

"Damn my people." I spat before leading Azriel into the castle. Servants bowed to me as we walked. My goal was to go to my bedroom and fuck Azriel senseless but the confrontation with mother got under my skin so I made a left turn instead of a right and headed for the training arena. I kept clenching and unclenching my hand, my fingertips turning bright red with the heat of my anger. I motioned towards a stone wall a few feet before the actual stone wall, a wall of defense from the flames that usually fill this arena and Azriel wisely followed my command and hid behind the stones.

My brothers were there and it only took one look at me for Eris and the others to join Azriel behind the stone wall just in time for my rage to overtake me and simply combust. I burned and burned and burned, my fury at mother for suggesting that Azriel was dirty and that I was sullying myself by being with him, I burned even brighter at the memory of my father slapping me, the taste of my own blood still fresh in my mouth. I burned because this was the first time I ever wanted something and my parents couldn't let me have it, have Azriel, in peace. I wanted to cast off my bloodline and my power and simply exist with Azriel, to go to the Night Court and hold my brother.

My magic was fading fast with the intensity and force I was burning but I wanted every ember spent. I wanted to hold Azriel and burn with emotion not fire. When my flames finally winked out, Azriel was already behind me, his blue shield around him. How long had he been there? His shield fell the moment my flames flickered out and I fell on him, my hands clutching at his shirt. I would have fallen to the floor had his arms not wrapped around me and held me tight against him. I would have cried too if I hadn't of seen my brothers behind Azriel, Eris looking at me wide eyed.

"I am not letting you go." I told Azriel. "I don't care about my parents or my court, I just want you."

He cupped the side of my face. "I'm not going anywhere." I smiled at him, weak as it was and he pressed a quick kiss to my hair. He kept me tight against his side as we left the arena and to my bedroom suite.

He sat me down and tried to smooth back my hair, whispering sweet nothings to me trying to calm me down from my episode but I didn't want to be calm. I did have a promise to keep after all. I grabbed his hand that was stroking my hair and sucked on his index finger. His pupils immediately dilated.

"Lyra." He whispered.

"Kiss me." I dared.

I didn't see him move but his mouth was on mine, rough and demanding, his hands were pulling at my clothes and I returned the favor. My nails clawed through his shirt and stroked his wings causing him to tremble against me. I wanted to swallow him whole as his skin touched mine, as his hands reached behind me and swept across my shoulders, back, and ass in one movement as I knelt with him on my bed.

I pulled on his shoulders so that he would hover over me in bed, my nails leaving marks on his skin but he didn't seem to mind much considering his wings seemed to twitch with the action causing him to groan into my mouth, sending me sighing and arching my back into him. Every stroke of his hand on my skin and every scratch down his back sent light flashing behind my eyes, bright, blinding white light and it felt warm and welcoming.

The frenzy that we had started with had died down and now every touch was worship and reverence. When he slid into me I felt something in me snap, something deep and integral and it stretched outwards completely sentient as it met Azriel and curled around him, around that kernel of light growing and growing in his chest until it exploded and this tendril of emotion extended from him as well and wrapped lovingly around me.

I think I cried as I kissed him and I felt his tears in return. The Mating Bond had snapped into place for us and I wept with joy as he gripped my body. I tasted his tears as well as he kissed me harder. We didn't last long and soon we were whispering each other's names, stroking and touching as if everything was new.

We fell asleep still tangled in each other, his breathe gentle on my neck and his wings furling around me.

The sunrise woke up me, the sun's rays stirring my flames. I looked over at Azriel and his face was as relaxed as I have ever seen it, his mouth slightly open as he breathed.

Beautiful.

I decided to wake him up. I placed a gentle kiss on his chest as I wormed my way onto his hips.

"You wicked thing." He mumbled, his voice thick with sleep and lust. I grinned as I looked up at him from his chest, my mouth still planted there. My hands found purchase southward and his growl was answer enough. He moved as if to turn us over, to have me on the bottom, but I snarled in warning. I bit down on his pec, pulling skin between my teeth.

"My turn." His smile was dangerous, and I wanted more. Always more of him.

We didn't leave the room the entire day. But I knew we would have to leave to get food at some point and then I would have to face my family.

I was drawing random designs on his lower stomach when mine growled something fierce which caused him to chuckle.

I reluctantly allowed him to get dressed and we left the sanctuary of my room for the kitchens on the upper levels. The kitchen staff quietened when I entered and then stilled when they saw Azriel. The Head Chef pointed me towards the readied food and I grabbed two plates and then a whole cake. Azriel was smart enough to grab silverware and then he thanked the workers. Polite as always.

Much of the next day was much the same, but there was a heaviness in my heart and head knowing that I would have to say goodbye to my family today. I was mentally readying myself for whatever cruel nonsense my father would spout to me before my departure.

I dressed in my best for dinner, an emerald number that brought out the copper in my red hair. My handmaidens helped curl and arrange my hair, their meekness nothing strange but I knew Azriel would think their quietness would be attributed to his presence. No, my father beat any joy out of every person that worked in the Forest House. Even the ones that lived in it.

"Crown too, please." I said, gesturing to my thin circlet of a crown, the emeralds and rubies shining out against my hair.

"Beron will want you to give that to him." Azriel told me.

"This is one of the two things he will never be able to take from me." I stated. He cocked his head in question. "I was young when the war started, still a child so I was sent to stay with my mother's family in the countryside where it was safer. Eris and Bentley were sent away as well, to spread out the bloodline so we couldn't all be obliterated at once. So Autumn could live should anything happen to my father. Even as a child, my magic was stronger than it should be, so my mother's family had a crown made for me as a way to show allegiance and for me to remember them. So this is not my father's crown, not a crown made for an Autumn princess by the High Lord but from a family who loved my mother and loved me in return."

"And the second thing?" He asked, standing to move behind me, his wings tucked in tight.

I smirked. "As much as my father can try and disown me, he can never take away the fact that he is my father and I am as much an Heir as Eris is. He can banish me all he likes but he will never be able to take away the possibility that I may be the next High Lady."

"Shall we?" He asked, extending his scarred hand to me.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Not even Beron could frighten me. But he will get a tongue lashing if he makes you cry."

I gave him a sultry look as I place my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat steady. "Save the tongue lashing for later." His eyes darkened as he snarled, his hands gripping my dress as if to tear it off of me. "I said later." I winked and then, with some strength as I felt the entirety of his body pressing against me, continued to walk out the door.

The dining hall is as it always was, bedecked in gold and wood with maroon tapestries lining the walls. Our personal family table wasn't terribly long, not like the table in our guest hall is, so I comfortably took the opposite end of my father at the end of the table with Azriel on my right.

"This is a dinner for family only." My father hissed, Eris looking at me in warning. I ignored them both as servants hastily placed our dinner in front of us.

"Then it looks like everyone is here." I said, taking a sip of my wine.

"Get that filth of out of my home!" He shouted.

"That is no way to speak to your son-in-law." I shrugged. "Future son-in-law, anyway." He snarled.

"There will be no such union, not under my watch, not with my blood."

"I think it's a little too late for that, daddy." Eris leaned forward the slightest bit and inhaled deeply and then he sat back in his chair lightning fast. Father snapped his head towards his eldest.

"What?" He hissed.

"I think Eris is smelling the mating bond, father." I swirled my wine. I saw smoke rise from my father's head and fingertips. "Be careful, we live in a tree and wood catches fire. What a silly idea our ancestors had building our home front in one of the most flammable substances known to man."

"I am messaging Helion right at this very second!" He shouted, snapping his fingers and paper and a pen arriving at his seat.

I laughed. "As if Helion could break a mating bond. He couldn't even break the bargain bond between Rhysand and Feyre when Tamlin went to him." Azriel raised his eyebrow ever so slightly at me at that bit of knowledge. "Azriel and I are to head back to the Night Court tonight so if you had anything important to say to us, now would be the time to do it. Who knows when you might see your only daughter again."

"You! You are not my daughter, not anymore! You are no longer a child of mine!"

I hummed. "But you see, I still am. You can't take away the fact that you sired me. Or am I another High Lord's son like Lucien is?" His face turned red, smoke funneling out of his ears and mouth. "No, I am far too much like you to ever be another's child. Maybe that is why you fear me being your heir. Don't worry, I think the Cauldron will pick someone with a dick before a female, given its history of doing just that." I leaned forward, my eyes, mirror images of my father's locking back onto him. "But I may just give it a run for its money." I grinned. "And then look at who my consort would be. Can you imagine the children? How powerful? How beautiful? How loved?"

"You will never be welcomed back into this court." He whispered.

"What a blessing that would be." I hoped he couldn't taste the lie.

"After all I have done for you, after all your people have done for you, you would turn your back on it, on _me_?"

"If they would not accept my chosen mate, the mate that Fate chose for me, then yes. But I have more faith in my people than I do you." I scoff. "And what have you done for me besides making sure I was well acquainted with the healers?" He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "I used to be so amazed by you, I thought the world rotated at your whim, that the sun rose and set at your command. I thought you could do no wrong. But you are broken and I can only bare to look at you one day a year. You have played games before, father, and you lost heavily. Do not play games this time. Be the leader your people need, be the husband your wife needs, be the father your children deserve."

"Or what?" He seethed but his fire was gone, the smoke had vanished.

"Or you will lose it all, your children, your wife, and your people. I wonder which one will revolt first."

"How wise you are, daughter, you who have barely lived." He had a slight smirk on his face as he relaxed back into his chair.

"I'd say I experienced enough Under the Mountain for a hundred lifetimes." He blanched and I heard Azriel snarl. "I heard that you told Rhysand during the meeting between High Lords that you fought to keep your family from becoming the nightly entertainment but we both know you didn't fight too hard, did you, _father_?" I fought to slow my breathing, memories flooding my brain that I fought back. "Did you enjoy it? Did you hope that I would break? Did you hope that Amarantha would cut open my chest and pull my heart out? She always spoke about how you were the hardest to break, that even though she had me locked away, I still wasn't enough to keep you on a completely tight leash. Why is that? Why was I not enough?" He was quiet, for once he had no retort. "When she had me tied near naked in front of all the High Lords and their courts, when she had me debased and mutilated, you did not scream and beg like the others. Helion, Tarquin, Kallias, Thesan, Rhysand, all of them Under the Mountain fought to protect those they loved. But not you. Why? I will walk out that door and never return to Autumn while you live if you can simply tell me why."

He was quiet as he stared at me. "You think I was going to let that bitch think she had the best of me? You think I was going to let her grab me by the dick and pull me around whichever way she desired? No, I was not going to give her the satisfaction."

"So you sat there while I begged you to stop her. I have never once begged you for anything, not until Amarantha. You let her have grown males feel me up and do as they pleased in front of a room full of Fae. And you had the audacity to sell me to the highest bidder afterwards?" I scoffed in disgust. "I wanted to cut off every inch of my body when we returned. The moment I winnowed back home everything was as I left it as if nothing had changed when everything about me had. I wanted to burn off everything that made me female, I wanted to scar my face and my body, cut off all my hair; I wanted my outside to reflect my inside, that was how broken and disgusting I felt. I scrubbed myself raw for months hoping to get the feel of them off of me and no one asked after me wondering why I couldn't walk. And not even a year later, not even a year of healing and you had set up an auction for me. Too bad my virginity wasn't intact, right, father? Then you could have really made a killing." He said nothing. "Do I really mean that little to you?" I looked at him with tears threatening to spill over. But I would not cry in front of him.

"Of course not. You are my only daughter. You are my little girl." He whispered. "I wanted to rage every time she brought you out or when she wouldn't let me see you. But I couldn't allow her to see that I cared that much or else much worse things would have happened to you, don't you understand?" I wanted him to embrace me but he remained seated. "She killed the other High Lords for nothing but sport, if she thought she could break me by killing you she wouldn't hesitate. My pretending I wasn't affected saved your life."

"You can't be certain."

"I am. Why do you think you are the only 'entertainment' left alive?"

"Is that what you think I am? Alive? I am barely functioning. I don't feel alive, I feel broken. If it wasn't for Azriel I would think for certain that I am dying a slow death. I went though the motions if only because that is what was expected. I danced, I smiled, I laughed, I trained, I killed, but I am a shell of who I was. I feel nothing inside. Save for what I feel for Azriel. There is nothing. I am empty. I know talking about emotions isn't what this family does best, but I am hollow." I was tapping my chest, right where my heart was. I could feel Azriel's mind brushing mine, the first mental contact of our mating. I stood from the table, no longer hungry. Azriel stood with me, his hand finding mine. "We will take our leave now. Azriel has duties in the Night Court. You know where to find me."

I glanced at Eris and his eyes were wet as he clenched his upward facing fist to me. When he opened it, a flame phoenix was birthed and flew directly to me. Its wings kissed my cheek before disappearing into nothing. A kiss goodbye.

My father was not looking at me any longer, instead he looked at his cold dinner, his fork pushing the food around.

"Goodbye." I whispered and I could have sword I saw my father's face snap up just as the darkness enveloped me.

**Thank you for reading!**

**Sound off below and tell me what you think! **

**I'll see you guys next week!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello my lovelies! **

**Hope all of you had a wonderful week! Thank you for coming back my story! **

**I'm still terrible at introductions, so here's Chapter 9**

**Chapter 9 **

I didn't weep until we arrived back at Rhysand's town house. I fell back against Azriel, my sobs wracking my entire body. I could feel the stares of everyone in the room. I felt more than I saw Feyre point Azriel towards a room I could stay in for now and Azriel picked me up and carried me down the hallway where he curled around me for the rest of the evening as I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning, I stretched against Azriel's awake form, a low growl forced itself out of his mouth as he watched me. "We will have to get you moved into my place. I can't fuck you where everyone can hear." He whispered against my neck. I purred as I arched into his body, his hand curving around my form to grip my ass.

"Have you told them yet?"

He shook his head. "I haven't left you."

"Do you think they will be upset?" I asked.

"They will be surprised, but they will be happy for us."

"Some of them anyway."

"Come on, Cassian will be wondering why I missed practice this morning."

"You train every morning." I complained, turning over into the bed. I felt him move and then he was behind me, his hands raising my hips so that they brushed his, spreading them so that he fit comfortably between them and then he leaned down to brush his lips behind my neck.

"The sooner we tell them about our newly mated status, the quicker we can travel to my apartment and we can test this position out." He playfully bit that skin there at my neck and I growled. He gently thrust into my clothed body for emphasis and I agreed that his plan was a sound one.

We straightened our clothes and I fixed my hair and we made our way out into the living hall where everyone seemed to be waiting on us. Cassian was against the wall, tossing a knife into the air, his eyes on Nesta who was sitting next to Elain who was nestled against my brother. Rhysand and Feyre were positioned much the same on the adjacent sofa while Amren sat sourly on the floor. I guess Varian had other business to attend to.

"Care to explain that dramatic entrance last night?" Rhysand asked.

"Being banished from one's homeland has a sobering effect on a person." I said dryly. Lucien started.

"Beron banished you? Why?" Rhysand asked.

"Because I am mated to your shadowsinger."

Cassian dropped his knife.

The room seemed to pause and the silence turned deafening as Azriel took my hand in his. Morrigan, who I just now saw coming out of the kitchens, was aghast.

"Now if you don't mind, we have important business to attend to." _Like that position you were suggesting. _I said down the link. Azriel seemed to purr in response.

"Mates?" Cassian asked.

"Yes. The mating bond clicked into place while we were in Autumn."

"Congratulations." Elain said with a genuine smile on her face. I remembered the kindness Azriel had showed her before the war and so I smiled back.

"Thank you. Truly."

"You are happy?" Lucien asked.

I smiled as I looked at Azriel, his shadows all but gone revealing his immaculate face. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You will tell me what father said to you?" He asked.

"Later." I said, remembering I also had to break the news to him about who his father actually is. He nodded. I look at the still quiet audience, staring them down until they each said their congratulations, if not for me then for Azriel who deserved every happiness in the world. Rhysand was the most sincere, besides Elain, as he stared at his friend and I knew they were sharing a mental link, that Azriel was showing him everything he felt for me, every little moment we had that caused him to fall in love with me even before the bond fell into place.

"Once you two are more…settled, perhaps we can put you to work, Lyra." Rhysand mentioned as I tried to tug Azriel into the air.

"Such as?"

"I told everyone that you were going to train my female Illyrians, remember? Maybe we can make good on that soon."

"I've never trained anyone to do anything other than dance, but I will try."

Rhysand grinned widely. "Lord Devlon isn't going to know what to do with himself once you arrive."

"Most males don't." I said with a wink just before Azriel grabbed me and we were in the air.

It took several days but by the end of two weeks, Azriel and I were more settled into our mating bond, not nearly as frenzied to mate as we were. Although, we were quick to rouse each other each night.

I left him in our bedroom still asleep as I rose with the sun. I winnowed to the House of Wind to meet Lucien as I did each morning although he was not there when I arrived. Probably with Elain.

I stood towards the rising sun and my flames purred. I felt Lucien arrive some time later and we began our morning meditation.

"I awoke every morning for my meditations, even in Spring." He muttered. I tensed. He rarely ever mentions Tamlin or his time in the Spring Court although I know he misses his friend.

"Did he know?" I asked as we sat cross legged our flames circling around us, a show of control and power as my flames burned brighter and hotter than his.

"If he did, he never brought it up."

Like it always did, the truth I wanted to spill to him was on the tip of my tongue. "If there was something fundamental about yourself that you always thought was true but you found it no longer was, would you be upset?" I asked. He looked at me and I could hear his metal eye whirring, seeing something about me that perhaps I didn't realize I showed.

"What is it you want to tell me?" He asked in return.

"I only found out recently, just before the war and there was never a time to tell you, never a time where you were secure enough to maybe know. But this information will answer so many questions about your life that I know I can't keep it from you, not while you still have questions about it, about Eris, about the others, about father. Mother told me not to tell you, but I can't keep secrets. Not from you."

"What is it, Lyra?" I turn to look at him.

"I'm not sure exactly when it started, but mother, she had feelings for another, even before father supposedly, if rumor is to be believed, and when she had her chance, she took it. She knew it wasn't permanent, that she was married to father and she had six sons with him but she wanted him." I could see that he could tell where this was going, but I had to tell him. "I went to Helion before the war started, to gather some of the faebane that Eris wanted. Father forbade him to take it, but he trusted Thesan and wanted me to get it as Eris was being watched at all times and I had a bit more freedom in that regard. I smelled it as soon as we met, how similar you smelled. And now that I compare faces, you two look quite similar as well, despite the red hair." There were tears in my eyes that were threatening to overflow as I looked at my brother, my favorite brother. "That was why mother favored you, why father and the others despised you, why Eris never needed to kill you; you were never a threat to his position as Heir. Because you were your own Heir. To a different court. Helion is your father, Lucien, not Beron."

He was silent, thinking everything over. "But my flames?"

I shrugged. "Mother's gift is strong. But you must have other powers that you have yet unlocked, you would have to in order to be Helion's Heir."

"Who else knows?"

"Just Autumn royal family. And I think Rhysand and Feyre. No one else." He was silent. "Tell me what you're feeling." I whispered.

"It explains everything." He breathed. "Does Helion know?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. He would have raged if he knew Beron had you and not himself. He will rage probably still when he finds out father knew and didn't give you to Helion."

He opened his mouth to say something but I saw Azriel flying in to meet us and my flames brightened at his appearance and Lucien knew it would be useless to try to talk to me at the moment. But he tried anyway and he managed to get one syllable out when a scream left my mouth and I fell backwards onto the rooftop, my flames surrounding my body, arching high in places, low and bright blue in others.

I didn't know what was happening but I wanted it to stop.

But then I realized what it was the moment it tried to come to me. I felt the crown, I felt the weight of High Lordship try to settle over me but I refused it. It must be deciding between me and Eris.

"ERIS! PICK ERIS!" I shouted wildly at the Cauldron, at Lucien, at Azriel who was now beating on a shield Lucien threw over me to protect everyone else.

My screaming got louder just as my flames became brighter.

My tears were mist the moment they left my eyes. My back arched so high I thought it would snap in two.

"Please." I whimpered.

And then the pain stopped. And I could see again.

The fire died down and Lucien dropped his shield. Azriel fell on me, his arms scooping me up off of the ground.

"What happened?" Rhysand demanded, his voice strong and steady, every bit of the High Lord he was born to be. Just like my brother now is.

"My father is dead. Eris is now High Lord."

**I know this chapter isn't as long as the others, but I wanted to get a little snippet of what is to come out to all of you. **

**Thank you for reading! I'll see all of you again next week!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Sorry its been a hot minute since I've uploaded, I promise I never forgot about you! Life has just been a little crazy lately and I haven't had the desire to write. **

**But I am back! **

**Chapter 10**

"My father is dead. Eris is now High Lord. The Cauldron just couldn't decide who it wanted, I guess. I think I convinced it to hold off." I started sobbing. "My father is dead." I repeated. "I didn't even get to say goodbye. Eris didn't warn me." I paused in my tears for a split second. "Eris." I breathed. I locked eyes with Lucien. I grabbed his hand and Azriel's and I winnowed us all to Autumn, just outside the Forest House. I left them and ran into the house and the servants all paused and pointed me in the direction of my brother.

They were all gathered around my father's body.

There was blood everywhere. On the ground, on the walls, on my brother's hands. Mother was keening, her hands hovering over her husband's body while my brothers stood solemnly at the wall.

I joined them and everyone stared at me as I slowly made my way to my father's body.

"Lyra." Eris whispered. I glanced at him before turning back to my father.

"What happened." I whispered as I rested my hand on my father's chest.

"He moved to attack mother. I had to protect her." He said just as quietly. I felt something not so true in that statement but I let him say it. I leaned over and kissed my father's forehead before I stood.

Only to kneel before my brother. "High Lord." I whimpered. Eris touched my cheek, my father's blood smearing my face.

"It wanted you." He stated.

"I have always told you that I never wanted to be High Lady." I started crying again, tears streaking down my cheek.

"You will be High Lady eventually." He whispered. I bunched my eyebrows together in confusion. He looked at Lucien with a sad smile on his face. "Brother." Lucien didn't look as confused as he would have been if he didn't know the truth. Eris looked at me. "You told him." He stated. I nodded. "Good. Maybe we can all start building bridges now." He was handed a rag by a servant and Eris began washing our father's blood off of his hands. Literally and figuratively. "Walk with me, sister." I looked at Azriel and I knew he would be keeping a short distance behind us even if I asked him not to.

We walked to the balcony overlooking Autumn, the sun in the center of the horizon, the red and gold trees shining and swaying in the wind. "This is your home." He began. "Come home. Your mate can come too. You are rightful High Lady. You should come home."

"I didn't want it, the power was conflicted on who to go to, I begged it to choose you." I sighed. "I can't come home. Not to stay. The Night Court is Azriel's home, he is an integral part of Rhysand's court, I can't take him away from that. But we will visit. If that is okay with you, High Lord Eris Vanserra of the Autumn Court."

A tear escaped his eye. "It would be more than okay with me."

"Tell me what really happened." I whispered.

"Father found out." He began. "He found out about Cian. I'm not sure how, we were so very careful, but he did."

"Cian? The healer?" He nodded, his shoulders already seeming so tense.

"I-I love him, Lyra. He's not my mate, at least nothing has clicked into place yet, but I love him and I want him to be my Consort. No children will come of this union. So while you are safe now, it will not always be this way, not while the two of us are alive. If anything were to happen to me, you will be High Lady, sister, it is why the Cauldron let you go this time, because it knows that you won't be able to escape it when I die." He gave a humorless chuckle and gestured to Azriel who was hiding in the shadows. "You can tell Morrigan that this is why I didn't want her. I could no more desire her than she me. I was going to call it off, convince father to wait, when Morrigan did what she did. I couldn't stop what they did to her afterwards. Tell her I am sorry. I know I have done terrible things, I have been a terrible person to so many people, but I want to be a good High Lord, I want to do right by my people." He sighed. "Are you upset? About Cian? About _me_?" He hit his chest with each question, tears filling his eyes. "I know you will never forgive me for," his lip wobbled, "for killing our father, but can you forgive what I am, who I love?"

I began crying too and I took his hands in mine, curled my warm fingers around his cold ones, for once his fingers were cold. "How can I be upset that you are in love, brother? How can I be mad that you love someone and they love you in return? We are not easy people to love, brother. Cherish it, hold onto it tight." He sobbed and I brought him to me, tucked his head into the crook of my neck and I let him cry and I wept with him.

We were still convened in Autumn when Eris performed his Rite. Azriel watched me delicately smear paint on my cheeks and forehead, a straight line down my nose, running all the way down my lips and chin. I braided my hair back so my face could be in full view. My handmaids helped me dress in my blood red tunic, the gold trimming bringing out the gold paint on my face. My feet were barefoot as to symbolize our connection to the earth.

The servants were still afraid to smile as we left the Forrest House. I had advised Azriel of what was to occur and I felt more than heard him tell Rhysand as all the High Lords were in attendance to this ritual, something no other Court does. I saw Tamlin at the very edge of the group and I felt Lucien's desire to speak to him but he didn't want to leave Elain's side and Elain most certainly did not want to see Tamlin, the High Lord who sold her and her sister to Hybern. I didn't blame her.

We had all lifted the glamour just the tiniest bit, to reveal what we truly were. I saw shadows combing through Rhysand's hair, the same shadows were lingering around my mate's ears, whispering things to him that I doubt he would tell me. Tarquin was delightfully handsome, as always with his mate by his side in matching shades of blue.

Helion was around somewhere, as I could hear his laughter, and Lucien looked around nervously for him. Kallias and his mate were the last to arrive, not wanting to feel the flames of Autumn but he was chatting peacefully with Thesan.

Mother has yet to let Lucien out of her sight, her fawning over her favorite child unnerved me and Eris alike.

"Was it always like this?" Azriel asked when he witnessed our mother lavish Lucien in hugs, kisses, and gifts all the while forgetting her other children were in the room.

"Yes," I had responded, "but Lucien was always very graceful about it. You can imagine that it was not only anger that he was Helion's son that kept my siblings in constant state of fury regarding Lucien. Our mother was the only source of love we had and she spent all of it on Lucien, giving the rest of us the scraps of her affection, knowing none of us could equal her love for the child she had with her love." He had kissed me then, showing me that he was now my well of love and he would shower me in it constantly. I had graciously accepted.

I could feel Nesta's curious eyes on my makeup and shoe-less feet. Lucien had decided against participating in the Rite which I understood but I felt the ping of sadness nonetheless. High Noon was arriving so I kissed Azriel and left with my mother just a few feet away to be directly in front of the High Lord's rock. Cian was by my side, his face decorated in similar paint, not quite the Royal Gold but a bright yellow showing he had accepted Eris's request as Consort. My mother had red paint smeared on her face, two lines directly under her eyes running all the way down to her collarbone, showing her mourning of her husband while also showing her position as High Lord's mother, that her husband died so her son could rule.

When Eris arrived, gentle flames curling between his red locks, the pounding started. The drums were beating and every Autumn citizen in attendance started stomping their right foot in beat with the drums. Eris's face paint was deep red, symbolizing the blood he spilled to become High Lord as well as the red of his flames, and it was a single line from the center of his forehead down to his chest, mimicking mine, or I should say that mine was mimicking his per his suggestion. I had fought him but he wanted everyone to know that he was only High Lord because I had refused the power, that he was High Lord at my mercy.

And then the drums started beating a step faster and then the group was jerking their shoulders in time with the drums, first the right then the left.

Eris's flames were brighter than ever, red with blue tips. His robes were resplendent, and I briefly wondered how much he cried when he pulled on father's royal robes.

Each stomp was confident and sure, his fire powerful and hot. My body longed to join him, to match him move for move as I have been trained to do all my life, ever since my first blue flame. But this was his moment and I let him have it.

His eyes were alight with fire and excitement, of the thrill of the absolute power roaring through his veins. I understood that at least. He made the last leap and fell to his knee, his fist pounding the rock before shooting to his feet and casting that blue fire over the entirety of Autumn. I watched until the blue faded and then I was the first to fall to my knees before my brother, just as I was the first to kneel before my father when he performed the rite for us all those decades ago.

Cian's hand was sweaty with nervousness as he held mine as we both knelt, our foreheads touching the soft earth.

My brother was confident as he called for Cian to join him as he stepped off of the rock, and then he called for me and I didn't fail to notice how my brother held Cian's hand, with absolute certainty and ease. Cian looked nervous but proud and I wished they would have years of calm.

Our brothers had paint on their faces but they did not look very happy at their brother becoming High Lord. I doubt I will have to wait long to get notice of their deaths.

I looked at Eris with awe on my face as I beheld him. He walked towards me and I bowed my head but he placed his hands on either side of my face and raised my head so he could kiss my forehead that was crusted with paint and dirt. The more dirt one had on their forehead, crusted into the damp paint showed their respect and reverence for the new High Lord, it is said that those that did not kneel hard enough have been banished from court or executed but I doubt Eris would have that problem.

"I love you, sister."

"I love you."

He released me just as the music started. The Firedancers were here and they were clearly the star of the show. I stripped off my tunic top revealing more gold paint on my arms and stomach. My chest was covered with thick binding and my girls eagerly encouraged me into their dance.

My eyes were on Azriel's dark hazel ones as I undulated my body, the fire sparking at my feet and behind my eyes as I danced in honor of my brother.

Aqura's eyes were a little squinted as if she finally knew how much Tarquin was willing to pay to have me at his side. Tarquin was still enthralled in my dancing but he no longer looked at me with the fire he once had. Which I understood and was grateful for. Tamlin, though, had no such qualms as his emerald eyes were locked on my form. Pity for him that my only decent memory of him is when he stormed into the Forrest House and demanded my father fight in the war.

It seems I was not the only one to notice Tamlin's staring as Azriel had quickly scooped me up, his taunt and toned body immediately lighting a different fire in me.

"Remind me to tell you how I first met Tamlin." I said with a large grin. I laughed at the memory. "Which his why his thinking I'm attractive is rather humorous."

I looked over his shoulder and I found Lucien working up the nerve to speak to Helion. My mother was watching from afar and I could tell she wanted to intervene.

"Helion will accept him." Azriel whispered.

I curled my fingers in his hair and held him tight as Lucien made up his mind and stepped towards Helion. "I hope so."

He nipped at my earlobe and I arched my back into him. "I don't know if it was a vision or if my shadows were talking to me in images, but I saw you up on that rock performing that dance. You were so breathtaking I felt my heart skip a beat."

"I hope it won't be for a very long time." I whispered. I gasped. "Az." I sighed as I saw Helion clasp Lucien's shoulder, his eyes wide and shocked but he then pulled Lucien close in an embrace and I swore I saw Lucien close his eyes and give in. I didn't realize my hand was over my heart until I felt Azriel slide behind me and place his hand over mine.

His other hand curled around my waist, pulling my back flush against his chest. Lucien held his hand out for Elain and she went to him as he introduced her to Helion.

**Thank you for reading! **

**Let me know what you guys think down below!**


End file.
